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Originally Posted by Eolas Pellor
A-I notice that many of the "pro-life" people are anxious to prevent women from having abortions, but far less anxious to help them when they actually have the baby. I notice, too, that most "pro-choice" advocates (that I have known) are very vocal about the woman's right to choose, but also rarely step up to help young women who choose to keep their child.
B-Moralizing is easy, and cheap, and very little help to people.
C-I have helped young women who chose to keep their child, financially and in other ways.
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Concerning item "A", I would like to state that you are incorrect here and I resent this rhetoric.
Many pro-life people I know offer a great deal of financial and spiritual support to women who have decided to keep their child. And, there are many churches as well, mine being one, who help these mothers and without brow beating them to come to church nor do we make them feel guilty for their situation.
Personally, I have mixed feelings about "helping them". How will they grow up and learn to take responsibility for their decisions and actions, if people are willing to "help" them bear the responsibility? This does not help them, it coddles them and makes them believe they do not have to take responsibility for their actions.
Furthermore, often, I think to "help" is just another way for people to do a "feel good" deed and puff themselves up as humanitarians.
Birth control is very easily obtained, especially where I live.
I feel a great deal of pity for those children born to such irresponsible people. Granted, this is a generalization and there are exceptions.
Women should not be made to feel guilty for putting up their children for adoption and in some cases for abortion.
B-Moralizing would have better preceded the pregnancy circumstances and perhaps some women would have been able to avoid this dilemma.
Most men have a vested interest in not caring if a women gets pregnant, until recently, when they can be sued. However, one cannot get blood out of a turnip or an irresponsible male partner. Who bears the burden then? The pregnant woman, tax payers, the grandparents and friends.
Part of the problem is not moralizing enough, making it clear to men and women what can happen to them, and giving children a fair chance to grow up in a family unit that can provide for the child. My better half's mother had nine children. She would feed them all lunch using one can of soup. She chose to keep her children and do the best she could against all odds and a deadbeat father who ultimately left them. He grew up not having enough food and an abusive father. Is this what people what for innocent children? I think not.
Moralizing is not cheap especially emotionally and does a great deal of help to those who will listen and are strong enough to say "No" instead of parting their legs in the heat of passion or "love" or pushing a woman to have sex. Of course, the exceptions are rape and coerced sex (meaning "have sex with me if you love me").
C-I am curious, what "other" ways have you helped? Your compassion is to your credit, however, what message does this send about taking responsibility?
Women and men get in a fix and expect others to bail them out when they come crying for help. Very sad.
As for myself, I grew up in the 60's and 70's when it was free love. Have as much sex with as many people as you like as much as you like! However, I went to the Free Clinics and got birth control. Happily, I never had to make the choice to keep a child or not. Even as a peson caught up in the "hippie" culture, I chose to take responsibility because of my moral upbringing.
Yes, I did other things thought to be immoral, however, I drew the line at inflicting my lifestyle on an innocent life. I had at least heeded some things from my parents and grandparents who gave me a good foundation. This foundation served me well after my cultural fling and does so to this day.
Please let's not flood the world with child welfare cases, let's help women and men to become responsible citizens and then maybe
they won't have to pay for everybody else's irresponsible choices.
In closing, Hmmmmmm, there really must be something to those religious nuts who counsel marriage
before pregnancy, not after. At least the child has a fighting chance for a decent life at the start.
Fortuna