I have come to the place where it just doesn't matter whats right and whats wrong anymore, and I just don't have the strength to blame and be bitter at whomever messed christianity up, I am just going to do what I know is right. Be like Jesus as much as I can, when possible because I know for a fact I'll never be like him ever. But with His ideal and His teachings in the Bible I think I can follow along pretty good. I'll always make mistakes and I know I will not be like He was/is, but as long as I keep my eyes on Him and stop taking my eyes off of Him then I can have His support.

Which I think He has been great to me already even when I wasn't trying to do the right things and trying to be more like Him, He was always there for me ever since I was a kid and He has never failed me. So I owe Him my devotion if not my perfection.

Thanks for everyones posts...

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When a man sleeps in his bed, his soul leaves him to soar above, each soul according to its own way.......
The Zohar

ShyLady wrote: I have come to the place where it just doesn't matter whats right and whats wrong anymore, and I just don't have the strength to blame and be bitter at whomever messed christianity up, I am just going to do what I know is right.

Amen, ShyLady.

As a teenager I struggled with the confusing welter of churches and doctrines all clamoring that they were the "right" way. Ultimately I did what my mom taught me: go back to the Bible and read it with the eyes God gave me.

I noticed a number of things when I did that, but the most important thing I found was this: In the Garden of Gethsemane when He's about to leave His disciples for the cross, Jesus gives them a message I have to believe was carefully chosen and carefully worded. He didn't talk to them about blood or atonement or resurrection or miracles. He didn't mention the Trinity, or talk about how divine He was as opposed to how human.

His message was very simple: IF you want to stay connected to Me, abide in My love. IF you want to abide in My love, keep My commandment. My commandment is that you love each other.

From the time they leave the Passover Feast to the time of His arrest, the Lord repeats this basic message THREE TIMES. I have to think that means THIS IS IMPORTANT. I also note that He uses the word IF a lot. IF we do as He commands, we'll stay connected; if not...

What I see here is a covenant between the Lord and His lovers. IF we obey His commandment (to love each other, first of all), we will abide in His love and maintain our connection with Him. If we don't do these things no amount of doctrine is going to give us that relationship.

My new understanding of this scripture (among others) sent me on a quest to find a faith community that held this message of love and obedience to the Word of God at it heart, and when you say you get weary of it all, I hear you. Sorting through all the shades of belief can be confusing and exhausting. At one point, I'd decided I was probably always going to be a loner "Bible-believing Christian"--that there was no community of belief for me. But I did find one. And I hope you may also find fellowship with others you can share your faith with.

Peace.

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Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff
www.mysticfig.com

"Love is the light that guideth in darkness, the living link that uniteth God with man, that assureth the progress of every illumined soul." -- Abdu'l-Bahá

That was truly beautiful, kaath. Thanks!