Over the years I have experienced this a lot. The types of harassment ranged from innuendos to out and out invitations. All harassment came from married bosses. I was a single working mother and was uncomfortable on most of my jobs with this going on.

I have noticed that since laws have been passed on harassment that the problem is still there. In my current office we have a large mix of men an women and there is a lot of "kidding around."

What do you think constitutes sexual harassment on the job? Have you ever experienced it? Men can be the receivers of it also. As long as we have men and women working together, won't there always be a certain amount of Kidding around"? Have you noticed any lessening of harassment in the last few years?

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I don't think that there is anything wrong with a certain amount of bantering, as long as that is all that it is. But I think that if anyone is bothered by it, they should have every right to say that it bothers them, and they should be left out of the bantering from that point on. I've teased a lot of women I've worked with, but only after I knew that they could see it as it was, as fun and not serious, and always making sure that they knew that I was only joking. Only one woman ever took me seriously, and that was a large pain because she didn't want to get me in trouble, she wanted me to take her to bed. (She was having very bad problems with her husband. But she didn't need a lover, she needed a counselor. Still, she was a very sweet and good looking woman, so I'd be lying if I said that I didn't at least think about it.)

I think that harrassment is when (1) it can't be seen as joking around, and (2) if only one woman (or man) is the focus of that joking. If there are a half dozen women in the office, but a guy ONLY makes sexual innuendos to one of those women, he isn't joking, regardless of what he says, he is focusing on her and means what he's saying, at least in part. That is wrong. If it is joking, the whole group will be a part of it (unless one of them doesn't want to be a part of it).

I don't think that there has been a lessening of harrassment. However, I have definitely seen a decrease in honest compliments. I'd say that 30-40% of the men I've worked with are afraid to tell a female co-worker that she looks nice or did a good job, for fear that they'll be sued for harrassment. And that number seems to be growing. I've also seen a lot more guys who don't trust women in the workplace because of the laws about harrassment, and I've met several who approach active hatred for female workers, because they are female and might sue them for harrassment. Many think that this can happen even if they don't do anything. (There is some truth in that. I've read about some harrassment lawsuits that stemmed from the woman entirely, the man really didn't do anything. And some of those were awarded to the woman anyway!)

I'm guessing that since nobody else had an opinion about this, that they either have never experienced any form of sexual harrassment and don't know anyone who has, or that they have no opinion abou twhat sexual harrassment is??

I can't see how telling a woman she did a good job could be construed as sexual harassment.

I used to have a married boss who used to brag about all of his sexual conquests in detail. Would anyone consider that sexual harassment?

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Actually, I think Rev. Rex laid out some good guidelines, meaning if it makes someone uncomfortable, and if it cannot be considered joking. We can understand banter, but when it is one-sided, sometimes that does not feel good. I have witnesses it I believe but only had an experience myself once. I think I am pretty assertive and not a target for such stuff, let alone overweight in recent years. It is too bad, even with laws in place, that people still can't safely report or request the behavior stop. It is amazing all the things that can be done to someone in retribution, especially in an employment at will state like mine.

I wouldn't consider that harassment, but it would be in very bad taste and I believe that would fall under "Lewd and Lascivious behavior", which is illegal. (At the mild end, flipping someone off is Lewd and Lascivious behavior, and a person can get ticketed or arrested for it if they really want to push it.) Besides, it sounds like that guy was an airhead. Everyone is different, so what is a red hot lover to one woman might be a cold dud to another woman. So being a braggard doesn't give anyone the idea that you're good in bed, it tells people that you are a very selfish lover.

I know of a manager who was sued and lost his job because he put his hand on the shoulder of one of the workers and told her that she did a really good job. SHE wasn't the one that brought the lawsuit, it was one of the other girls that did, but it makes little difference...inside information was that he would have lost the case, had he not been fired by the business. When he was fired, the girl dropped the suit.

On the New york State Thruway where I collect tolls, I get propositioned about three or four times a day. Most of the girls/ladies can’t even say it to my face and usually remark about me when their car is not even out of my earshot. When the summer comes we get the girls who think it is cute to drive through the lanes nude or flash the male collectors. I usually call them in to the State Police and for some reason the police always manage to catch them. I do not need that kind of harassment when I am working.

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Personally, I think it needs to go beyond making someone feel uncomfortable to be considered sexual harrassment. I think when it affects your job to the point where you could either lose your job, or where your ability to move forward is affected, that's when it becomes sexual harrassment.

Or if that's not the case, if it gets to the point where it is actually harrassment. An occassional joke, while it may make someone feel uncomfortable, probably is not harrassment. But if it's constant jokes, day in and day out, that's a different story.

I've been in situations where I've felt very uncomfortable, even though the dicussion wasn't about me. I've been on customer sites with fellow employees, where they just constantly comment on the girls that work for the client, and who they would "do". I think that's inappropriate, but I don't necessarily feel harrassed.

But a lot of that is also life. For instance, as a gay man, I listen to a lot of conversations at lunch with fellow employees on the female celebs they think are hot. Or about football, etc. It makes me a bit uncomfortable, as it's not a conversation I can really chime into, and I don't want to out myself. So it sucks when they're all talking about the Sunday football games, and all I can add to the conversation is, "Hey, did anyone see Charmed last night?" It makes me a bit uncomfortable, but it's not harrassment.

pdoel, I think you're right on with the level of discomfort. I think the difference is if you are the target of the comment or not. Certainly things happen daily that make me uncomfortable to some extent or another, but I wouldn't cry wolf over them. Now, if it were direct to me, and I asked for it to stop and it did not, then that's a different story.