Were You Ready For Marriage?

[cardero]

This is for all those IF members who are married, were once married or are currently thinking about marriage.

It seems that in this fast-paced world and unexpected turns and circumstances sometimes one can find themselves walking down the matrimony aisle and not realizing how they got there. Was anyone on IF not ready for marriage? Could you have used just a little more counseling, just a little more friendly advice, just a few more instructional films?

[vivamis123]

I don't think there is a time that we are ready nor a garantie that a marriage will be great and last forever.

[norwood1026]

I’m not sure I was ready for marriage when I asked I wasn’t sure at the time I was so nervous I put the ring on the wrong hand. I knew that I didn’t want to lose this women to someone else & I knew I was crazy about her so I went for it. I can’t say that anyone is ever ready for marriage sometimes you should go for it because it just feels right.

[Rev. Kelly]

I don't think anyone is "ready" for marrige. It is a long and sometimes hard road. I mean let's face it, no one can predict what the future may bring, and no amount of counciling or videos or anything else can prepare you for this adveture that we call life. Sometimes you get what you thought you would and marrige is great. Sometimes either you or the person changes and things fall apart. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, such as a disabled child or a serious illness, and you or your partner just can't handle that kind of stress in life. Marriage is a gamble, it is a toss of the dice. Sometimes people win, and it comes up roses, but that is rare; life always has a challenge in mind. Most of the time, you find a way to meet half way and work at it. But sometimes something awful happens, and well... the marriage ends. Like everything else, you can try to be prepared, but there is no way to prepare for everything.

[vivamis123]

Me and my partner have been together for over 10 years now. I was not looking for a relationship when I met him and did not want to commit again after being in a 10 year abusive marriage. But some how we did get together. The first three years we separated many times. (believe it or not, but there was a man that thought I was stuborn LOL) But then we both made a commitment: It no longer was an option to break up. From there on it worked and it worked great. I think doubt in ourselves, in our relationship and in each other kept us from experiencing what a beautiful relationship could be like.

We have a 7 year old girl together, but we are not married. We don't need a piece of paper to tell us we want to be together or that our time together is over.

I see the relationships we have with others, is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. The commitment that changed our relationship, was not a commitment toward eachother or toward our relationship,as much as toward loving ourself. I can see that clearly now.

[Nick_A]

Originally Posted by vivamis123

I don't think there is a time that we are ready nor a garantie that a marriage will be great and last forever.

We could probably could find ways to make the quality of marriage better if the sexes understood each other better. In this way the partnerships would be better insuring less divorces.

As you know divorces are expensive not only for those getting divorced but society in general.

When a man announces that he intends to marry he should be given two weeks to prepare himself to live on an island surrounded by all kinds of women paid by the govt to be there. The open intent should be to experience a sample of every kind of relationship and given three months ro do so.

At the end of this period, this exhausted male should be given a degree proclaiming him to be an educated male and then free to give the woman he intended to marry the ring if his educational experience has proven that she is the right one.

The money saved from diminished divorces will easily pay to sustain this educational island serving to promote marital bliss.

[vivamis123]

Not a bad idea Nick. Sometimes I think parents should have to take parenting classes before having a child, but there is a always one factor that messes up all our good preparation and it's called: LIFE LOL

[evangelicalhumanist]

Originally Posted by Nick_A

We could probably could find ways to make the quality of marriage better if the sexes understood each other better. In this way the partnerships would be better insuring less divorces.

As you know divorces are expensive not only for those getting divorced but society in general.

When a man announces that he intends to marry he should be given two weeks to prepare himself to live on an island surrounded by all kinds of women paid by the govt to be there. The open intent should be to experience a sample of every kind of relationship and given three months ro do so.

At the end of this period, this exhausted male should be given a degree proclaiming him to be an educated male and then free to give the woman he intended to marry the ring if his educational experience has proven that she is the right one.

The money saved from diminished divorces will easily pay to sustain this educational island serving to promote marital bliss.

What, no similar opportunity for women? How terribly sexist!

[Nick_A]

Originally Posted by evangelicalhumanist

What, no similar opportunity for women? How terribly sexist!

Ah, but don't you see that the ladies are educating these young eager males so are in the exalted position of "educators." But, if you insist a complimentary island could be created staffed by a supply of a variety of men that would educate these potential brides as to what they may be missing.

Men would take these jobs as educators and govt employees with early retirement benefits for the sake of the next arrival of potential brides sure to demand quality education.

[cardero]

Were You Ready For Marriage?

Yeah, I was pretty much done with sex anyway.