I notice a difference between the male and female "roles" americans have compaired to germans.

Here in america it is common that a women works a full time job and still takes care of the kids, clean the house, cook and everything that applies to making home ...home.

I talk to many people and the women state they have a good partner.... simply because he "helps". The funny thing is that when I talk to men I never hear the woman "helps".

We women have come a far way in society, but we ain't "there" yet. As long as we still hold on to the belief that "a woman's place is in the kitchen" and that it is soley our responsibility, we are all contributing to an imbalance in this world.

Question:
Do you believe it is o.k. for a woman to work a full time job and still take of all things concerning home? Or should the work at home be equally shared if both partners are working?

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May your awareness be perfection

This is probably a little unfair, coming from a gay man, but it is my honest opinion that if both partners in a relationship are contributing to the family income (not equal earning, just equal in terms of working for it - i.e. they're both putting in a regular work day), then both are indispensably required to contribute to everything concerning the home, too.

I have no objection to families who prefer to adopt a more traditional family style, husband at work, mother at home raising kids. Perfectly valid way to live, if both partners agree. But when income demands drive both out to work, then both must also share in the business of the home, as well. Otherwise, one partner is being asked (on purely gender grounds) to bear an unfair share of the load.

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evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

I agree with you 100% E.H. and don't find it strange for you being gay to have an opinion. Does this opinion not also apply to a gay relationship?

I too am a stay at home Mom, by choice and yes I do take care of everything that conerns the house and keeping everything running smooth, but I do not have to worry about making money, that is soley my partners job.

I receive pocket money and so does my partner and my kids. All donations I receive or money I do make selling my books or giving a class are not contributed to the bills and are "extras". My partner has his own business installing granite, he often gets tips too or works "side jobs", this money is also not contributed to our bills and soley to his dispence.

In Germany many men stay home and take care of the house, I see nothing wrong with that. The state supports one parent staying at home with their children independant of it being the father or the mother.

This thread was not only for those that have children. I know couples that don't have children, but still the women (or sometimes even the men) do all the work.

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May your awareness be perfection

I'm in a same-sex relationship. Usually I'm the one who goes out to work to bring home the proverbial rashers of smoked pork, while my partner does Stuff in and around the house.

There is a fair amount of crossover. I do throw in the odd load of laundry or cook a meal or wash a sinkful of dishes; and my partner helps me when my paid work is a renovation project.

Between my job and my business and going to school, I put in more hours a week than my husband, but he still sees the home as "my" job. I think it should be shared. Anyone got advice on how to change this?

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"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

My partner in the beginning of our relationship did not feel responsible for anything at home. Yes, he would help...if I asked, but I had to ask. So, I went from full time to part time, to cleaning homes, to having my own buisness from home and then eventually given up that to be a full time Mom.

I can see that it was not my partner that needed to change ...but me. I did not value being a mother, house wife as being enough. The more I felt I was worthy of "my pay" the more money he made and the less I worked for money.

In my case I wanted to be a stay at home Mom, so I started to see my partner as capable of being the sole provider in the family. It was a process for both of us, but so worth it. My partner does not work more hours than before (actually less) and we are all happy : )

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May your awareness be perfection

I did the stay-at-home-mom/housewife thing, and was very unhappy. I know that some people are very happy doing that, and I believe that you are one of them, but not everyone is wired the same way. I like being able to do something different. I like bringing money into the home so we can do things, like go and visit my family in VA. If staying home makes you happy, I am happy for you.

I just happen to think that things should be shared, bringing in money or doing housework. It should be a more or less 50/50 thing. And yes, I understand that I can't force hubby to change, but would really like a way to persuade him.

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"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

Yes, I understand and I am with you. I had the same problem as you, but different goals. I do not believe in changing someone else. I think all problems must be met within ourselves. Maybe you could see yourself now....how you would like to see yourself in the future. With other words: How would you feel if your husband took over 50% of all the house work? Happy, respected, less stressed? Then move into that feeling now. Do you see what I mean?

I believe we create our experiences through our "I am" ...being. Just try it : )

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May your awareness be perfection

Respect and less stress, Oh that would be great!

OK, I will give it a shot.

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"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

I rather be the one who walk the dog... Arf arf!

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