I noticed an interesting column (Dear Abby) yesterday, that asked readers the question "What's wrong in society today?"

I can't quote all of it, because that would be copyright infringement, but among the suggestions were:

• Lack of personal responsibility
• Intolerance (of other views, religions, sexual orientation, dress, race, etc.)
• Breakdown of the nuclear (or extended) family
• Organized religion and dogma
• Lack of religion/atheism/secularism
• ...and many more

But just asking what's wrong with society isn't enough. We need to be able to talk about what to do about it, too.

So, how about picking one thing (either from the list above, or your own thought) that is truly troubling for our society today, and then talking about what you might do about it. Other members are of course invited to contribute what they might do about each of the problems, too.

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evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

I think that the largest problem with society is that no one seems to care about anyone else. This problem starts with the family and extends outward to the community in general.

I remember being young and in a very small town in North Central WI. If the neighbor was ill, you brought over some homemade soup. If the neighbor was injured, you shoveled their driveway. If your neighbor had surgery, you helped watch thier kids. I haven't seen any of this in today's society. Most people don't even know the first name of their neighbor, much more what is happening in their lives. I dont' think these acts of kindness and caring really take a lot, but can really make a difference to someone else.

Why can't we all just find one small thing to do for our friends, our neighbors, or a family member, it doesn't have to be much, and do it. It can make the biggest difference to all involved.

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"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

This is a hard one. The one that jumped out at me of course was intolerance, because I have tried really hard these last few years to become a sort of bridge between people. I don't know what to do about personal responsibility, and I am not sure how to even define that one.

The more I think about it, the more I think several major societal problems could be helped by teaching our kids conflict resolution. Yes, conflict resolution. Too many times, our society turns to violence or threats or flimsy lawsuits to resolve conflicts. Innumerable people are harmed by that, people die because of it, and some wars start mainly because we're so bad at resolving conflicts. Negotiation has become sort of a lost art. The idea that both people should come out of a dispute with their needs addressed is entirely alien to a lot of people. It's about winning. It's about who is bigger. It's about getting even. It's about destroying your opponent and crowing in triumph. Couples beat each other up over money disputes. People divorce each other over money more than anything else, and then they go to court and sue each other over custody, and even over who gets the encyclopedia.

What I think we could do is teach kids through roleplay and stories and exercises some tools they could use in conflicts and disputes. These would include:

* Empathy. Try to understand where the other person is coming from.
* Patience. Some problems take awhile to work through.
* Anger management.
* Negotiation skills.
* Basic diplomacy and tact. i.e. how not to start a fight in the first place while still making your point.
* Cause and effect. Believe it or not, many people really don't think ahead to the likely result of their actions before they act.
* A return of the honor system (this is probably part of personal responsibility).


Yes, I am arguing that children need to be taught useful social skills and basic human psychology as early as possible. They aren't going to get that stuff from the plethora of cop shows where the answer the hero finds is often a gunfight. Most kids in my country have both parents working fulltime, if they are lucky enough to have two parents. School is the one place we can reach most of them, and we should.

What would the result be? I don't know, but I hypothesize that violent crime including rape might be reduced, the divorce rate might drop, child abuse might drop, and within half a century we might find ourselves better at foreign policy and less likely to get into wars. I am guessing that the cost of medical care would drop because people would be more likely to enter neutral mediation rather than go to court, so cost of malpractice insurance might go down. I am guessing the cost of many products and services might also drop as companies and customers got better at negotiating with each other. I am not sure how much good it would do, but I really cannot think of much harm it could do.

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"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."
- Carl Sagan

Organized religion and dogma
Lack of religion/atheism/secularism



REligion as practiced traditionally with all its dogma and such I feel can be very devisive...to families, neighbors and world citizens. But I believe true religion/spirituality helps to reinforce positive behavior if you practice the real meat of it which is generally the golden rule....which is what Rev. Kelly was basically talking about. People have been so burnt by traditions and rules that they have trouble keeping an open mind to any type of spirituality. A spiritual community of some kind can be very supportive and reinforcing of moral,loving behavior. That is why I am Interfaith. I think that people can come together in a positive atmosphere and relate and work on bettering the world no matter what path they come from be it Jewish, Christian, Wicca, or atheist...it is a meeting of the minds not performance of rituals that is important. That is the main principle I am building my church on. People meeting there do not neccesarily have to have the same beliefs as to what God is or isn't or what he should be called...all they need is to be in a like mind of wanting to love and be loved and make the world a beeter place while we each work on our own development in private also. I believe working on it from this perspective can also resolve the other problems listed originally in the article.

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RevKathyV

http://www.myspace.com/divinelightinterfaith



www.divinelightinterfaithministry.com

Would I not be contributing to the so called "wrongs" of this world if I could point them out?

My seeing is not wrong, but my judging what I see very much.

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May your awareness be perfection

So if you were witness to an act of child abuse in the house next door, do you suppose you would be best to just keep quiet about it?

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evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

Hi I agree with Viv on this and no suprises there

We are simply created by God and thus untouchable or we are a helpless body
If we are created by God then we are beings of Love



Now how would I deal with the scenario you described

Well as I have been abused and my wife has been abused in the Worlds view, I will tell you not what I would do but what I have done and what my wife has done

Forgiven the abusers

Offered Love to the abusers


Outcome :


Situation healed

No more abuse of anyone

No more guilt on any side


No more continuing patters into the next generation


How ?


Put Love above all else !




Havent we learned that vengeance gains nothing ?
Has any attack on any other ever healed anything ever ?

Do you think a child abuser wants to be that way
Do you think they choose that thinking?
They are ill
They have been taught this by there own abusers - the cycle goes on and on
Anger breeds anger hate breed hate abuse breeds abuse
The whole world is ill and it is a cure it needs - not more of the same - Not another beating and yet another judgement!

You would think an intelligent being would have realised by now considering it treasures its History with such value that the Worlds way doesnt work and has never worked

Perhaps its time to choose another way ?

I'm sure that's very nice, but it has been my experience (and the experience of most of the courts in the western world) that abusers, unless they are stopped, do go on abusing. The pattern is repeated over and over and over again, and endless children, wives and girl-friends, husbands and boy-friends, innocents of every sort, are the victims. There is ample evidence that forgiveness and love, which many, many priests have received, for example, are particularly ineffective in bringing the abuse to a stop.

Therefore, if I am able to do something to stop an abuser, and I decide not to do so, I would consider myself complicit in the next abuse that they commit.

So I'm afraid that I am in very, very grave disagreement with you on this one.

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evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

The forgiveness you speak of is not forgivness

It is One thinking they are better than the other


Forgivness in its true sense starts with equality in the light of Love
It sees all parties as perfect potential - with merely an error in the past as the block

Forgivness cant be forgivness if you begin with Judgement

I see a problem that isn't in the list. We are living in a society where there's great disparity between the amount of work we do and what we receive in return. Many families must have people working two jobs, or all adult members working long hours, in order to provide some measure of security.

What does this mean for the average person? Less time to spend with family members. Fewer resources to spend in pursuit of long-term dreams. General unhappiness and a feeling of helplessness.