Is it possible to become best friends with people online? Is it not healthy for a person to used the internet as a way to socialize and enteract with other people if they can't do it in person?

Is it wrong to ask someone to become your best friend online, but never to expect to ever meet you? I mean is it selfish to think that you and someone could become very close, as two people can online, and you never expect them to want to meet you, to maybe think about getting out of the relationship if they keep putting pressure on you to meet them?

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When a man sleeps in his bed, his soul leaves him to soar above, each soul according to its own way.......
The Zohar

I by no means think it is wrong...some of my dearest friends i met online..one of just a few best friends lives in CA and i have known him now for I think 12 years...i was fortunate enough to go visit him twice...I think it was 15 or so years ago that i first found a chat room...and made many friends and we were every bit as close as any friendship local i have had...i have managed to keep in touch with 4 friends from the old chat room...we checked in most everyday and we knew who was expecting who was having baby's who was getting married..who had passed away ..i even held a few get togethers at my place...and have traveld to many places to visit the others...but as the years have passed and life keeps us rather busy i have just four of them that i still hear from...my friend from Ca we talk pretty regular...as for healthy...i for one dont think it has to do with your friendships online so much...i think it has to do with one loving themselves and keeping things in perspective and not having unreal expectations and not being attached so that you lose a part of you ...they are unhealthy i think if you spend your days sad because you can not see them and go out and have coffee/tea and chit chat real space...then it may not be such a good thing to develope such friendships..but on the other hand if you can accept it for what it is...real people shareing and perhaps filling what you think is a void...though i think we have no voids...as humans that feeling can grab you...and you dont want that...i think communication is a good thing...having someone near you to talk to and be friends with would be a nice thing but if you can not get out or for what ever reason dont ...then least internet friendship is a form of socialization..and i for one think that you can by far reach a much more diverse group online then most would meet in life.....I have been many places and been around very diverse individuals and I for one like that...how do you grow if you only socialize with like minds...just chit chat going..yea yea..yadda yadda...sometimes just small talk is very nice...but i for one like hearing different life experiences of others and how they come through them...there is more to learn there...but have learned there is much to learn from each and all experiences........you talk of a relationship of someone putting pressure to meet you......i would think you would have to look at all the scenerio's...is it being pushy in a controling or negative way...or in a excited just wish we could have a chance to be face to face...is it a friendship of a male or female....if your married and it is male you have other things to think of..is it friendship or someone haveing the hopes of something more...if it is female ...well..now wait..i guess the sex is of no concern...just there intention what they want...is it just friendship wishing they could meet face to face...and is it unresonable..is the distance to far...then is there such a thing in todays world...My daughter is heading to Singapore with her family in May...aaaahhhhhh...it will be an experience for her for sure..and by the way...she met him online more then nine years ago.......I feel if your asking the question....you know the answer....often when we dont like the answer ...we ask it aloud...sometimes just for validation...sometimes just because we needed to say it aloud..or in many cases today...type it...anyway...dont know if this helps.....continue to ponder it...then let it go...and it goes as it should....and it may look as it did not...but as time passes we often can look back and understand...it went just as it needed to no matter the direction...for one to get to where they are...breeeaaattthhhh...it is all good...

internet friendships can be easier in other ways...if you wish to spend a bit of time chatting with a internet friend there is no need to have everything in its place...there is no need to have a bite to eat to share with them...there is no worry that they have allergins and you have animals...if you sit to talk to a internet friend and your hair or make up..or both are not as you like they wont care...and i have found...like in real time and space...people are what they wish another to percieve them to be...and online it is the same..there is the person whom makes up the world they share to be how they really wish it was...and those who are far more real of who they are online then in face to face.....you need not worry of near as many judgements...least not till you share more and more...they dont know the size or style of your home..they dont know the car you drive ..how you talk with your kids or other family members...so often..when you meet someone online being very real...they are less real in face to face..because face to face...all the not to worry about things can creep in and then they worry of judgment..i have seen this many times in the family's that i met...you have an idea based on your history with others how one might behave or there personality...and quite often it does not match who they are face to face...and that too is okay.....and there are those who are just as you thought they would be...because they were being very real....internet life is i think just like the life in your neighbor hood...you know where who hangs..you know dangerous spots and nice places...you will get what you go looking for...you heed the same warnings...same precautions......never ever...meet someone alone....always be in a public place...always let people in your life know of what your doing....

I like the relationships I have had online. I've learned some things and made some mistakes along the way, but it has been a good experience for me. A way to literally socialize. I am very very shy. Very quiet. In a crowded room I am the one who stays quiet unless someone is asking me questions. Then I answer questions only in the most basic of answers, as a lawyer loves for witnesses to answer questions when they're on the witness seat, and I never offer any information on my own.

Sometimes, I can think of something to say and the words seem silly to hear them spoken by me, I think people will make fun of the way I talk. When I've had to go to meetings in the past I have always been kinda nervous about being put on the spot and having to talk, and when I went to a drug rehabs daily group once (I didn't have to live in the drug rehab cause I had small children, so they let me go to it for daily services) I was put on the spot many times to talk. Having to talk makes me so nervous I sweat and sometimes shake. I can even have panic attacks if I think about it and worry about it too much. I have to meditate and keep telling myself it will be ok, there's nothing to be nervous about.

So being online is so much easier. I did meet a man once, but I couldn't talk to him, and he wasn't much of a paitient man and didn't want the same thing I had wanted which was just to be friends. He wanted an affair, we were both married and he thought we were perfect for each other. Really we weren't. Men have always misunderstood me and even my husband does it. I do seek friendship only, mainly online which is more comfortable for me, because of that man I met I never make friends with any man close by anymore. I like to have friends online though, you know, to somebody to talk to on a daily basis about just anything.

I do get out, and I even say greetings to people I see all the time in passing, like at the stores, at the library, etc. I even have neighbors whom I drive around to do things weekly, I talk to them a bit, never opening up to them in any friendly kinda way. Never being able to. Scared to really. Thinking the people have nothing in common with me, and they are more of the partying type and I don't really care for parties. I have tried to be around my neighbors though who like to party, they always invite me to come over and hang out, and they are ok, I like it when they're just interacting on a daily basis and not partying. They are more the kinda people who always need to have fun, and I am more of the kinda person who likes to relax and read a lot, or be online posting on forums. I can be sitting at one of their parties and be wishing I was at home online. I don't like chatting though cause its so much like having to talk to people. Chatting puts pressure on me to have to keep up a conversation on my end of the computer. Which is hard for me to do.

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When a man sleeps in his bed, his soul leaves him to soar above, each soul according to its own way.......
The Zohar

I shun no one for there differences...you treat me right...i treat you right has been my way...someone treats me in a way that makes me uncomfortable...i move on...i have always most always anyway...seen the way others feel as there space.. there personality's reflect where they are in there life...i depersonalize it....i get caught off guard as anyone does but then take my breath and continue on...when young..i use to say i did not care what others thought of me..i was who i was..and how i fixed my hair or how i dressed who cares if anyone likes it...but in reality looked in the mirror one more time or re -thought an outfit for wondering what another might think..but at the age of 46...when i say i dont care...i mean just that..i really dont...what is important is that i am happy with who that i am..and that i treat people right and live my life to meet my needs .....i am a fixer...i have always went over and above to do what ever i can to help and see that others were okay...and still do that...not because i have to or need to...the need now is..i like doing it..it makes me feel good..and others often benifit...as do i...as for speaking in settings with others...i to this day turn beet red...no idea really why that is...i have had shy times in my life...but not many...i weigh my surrounding the type of people...what the subject is...and i for one dont look at myself any less inteligent then any other human being...only see area's that i do better in and well areas that i know i wont keep up.....there are those who have a vast knowledge and can recite many a book and vocabulary...and those that often feel there above and have a what seems like either sometimes a pity on those who do not..or least a feeling of being better then....most who are really knowledgable are not giving it a thought....and well...it matters not what they think for no one is less then or more then another..and then the other end..those with less education feel that those who have things or are Dr.'s or Lawyers somehow are better then they are...again so untrue...the value of all of us is the same...and if your not a kid..and i know your not...you have kids and a husband so have to have some living under your belt...then you probably as i would think most of us have...seen the poorest of poor and the richest of rich..and through out life...what you thought looked perfect..you find is not so..and visa versa...the richer seeing the poorer as being pittied and that person being the happy one...in essence having it all...i have always said...i am the richest poor person i know...rich has not a thing to do with stuff.....back to the conversations in crowds...i for one love to talk to people who have understanding of how things work..where they come from..how they develope...why ..why not....when something strikes me intersting..i try to be a part of that conversation..often it wont work...one must weigh the crowd...there personaliy..there ability to be personable...and then toss a question or statement..if there willing to share there knowledge..great...and if not..it is not personal..they have many things possible here...there brain is preoccupied with thought or the next venture or they notice you dont use certain words or dress a certain way and they may have passed judgment..that you are not worth there time..you would not get it anyway...but more often then not i think it is not a thought at all for them..there just being who they are and you...(not as in you ..you could be anyone)..because of where you are in life...a fight that day..a sleepless night...or oh so happy day..and then one thinks wow..what is with this...so you see...just save the trouble...it just is for what ever the reason..and move on...I think i posted when i first came to the board...about how i dont see things right or wrong..only different avenues of travel for choices made...some being easy high way driving..and other being way bad rough road...and of course the chipped black top roads...
as for daily friendships on line...i think there are many sites that have people of similiar intrests to connect with...maybe even on the Oprah boards...not sure what is all out there....

if your at that neighbors party and there doing not so great things...drinking cursing...not that that is intolerable but if it is not your cup of tea...by all means when the feeling strikes you this is not where i want to be....well...you could go home to your computer...or better yet...go to a coffee shop...and enjoy something to drink and take in your surroundings...or go sit on your porch if it is late and just take in life...I am a creature of habit..but it does us good to do things out of the box...

of asking someone to be your best friend online...well..if you have to ask..you are probably not at a best friend spot...when you have shared with someone for an exstensive amount of time..and keep in touch..you no longer need to ask...you reach a point you know your great friends because of what and how you share....and for how long you have been sharing....

this is so true.

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When a man sleeps in his bed, his soul leaves him to soar above, each soul according to its own way.......
The Zohar

Here is my story. My husband works at night (3pm-11pm) and I am at home with the kids then. By the time I get home from work, there is dinner and homework to do. Then bath and bed. But, I still want to talk to someone when my kids are in bed. I have offline friends and I call them, and we get together from time to time, but with families of their own, it is hard to do sometimes. So, I turned to the interent. I have gotten to know several people this way and chat on a regular basis. Some I will meet, and others I will not.

For the some that I will meet, we have gotten to know each other well enough to be curious about each other. We have talked by phone, and get along that way. Now, we felt it was time to meet, and the opportunity has presented itself.

As far as not meeting people, that is OK too. Sometimes it just isn't possible, or you dont' feel comfortable doing that. It all depends on the situation.

I only think of online relationships as unhealthy if you are unable to have relationships offline. Then it starts to dwell in the area of unhealthy.

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"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

internet friendships...in part can remain in A+ standing because it is void the one on one...when carrying conversation one sees gestures and reads all body language and often what is said is taken in for where you are in life and something could just be apeasing you and you might be clue less and just be happy to have chatted and in the same sense it can work against you by not having the face to face you could and one does very easily miss construe the message and so again just as in real time we see life is about where we are more so then where the person one is talking to is....

Have you seen the movie Bridges of Madison county...if so then you are aware of the great deep love the two characters had for one another..but how did that reamain as such..well it did in my opinion because they never had to deal with real life matters it never under the circumstances had to leave that fantasy state of being .....there is a chance had they gotten together it would have survived and then became a yet deeper love but a whole different picture for each had they had to endure lifes ups and downs together and the fusses that couples endure...

so I put the internet friendships sorta in that catagory....they most likely will never have the chance to be face to face...there for you dont have to worry they will be upset like i said earlier that you have not offerd a bite to eat..or be awed that you offerd what you did etc...you get my point...i hope.....so the internet has brought some wonderful bonuses and yet it comes with its ups and downs as does life...i for one would not trade the down falls if it means we would have to give up this new technology.......

okay ....i give...what is that picture of...i see many things there..one is perhaps a puppy with that contraption the vet puts on to prevent them from digging ....a big lilly with the back cut off....a lamp shade on its side...