i've been a member of quite a few forums and have been asked to moderate on one.
The one re-occuring theme is a definition of love, as in 'what is love?" To tell the truth i get sick of hearing the word, it's used so often and in so many situations, with so little evidence of it.

i am not a sentimental person, anneversaries and birthdays are just another day.

But now i take a turn at talking about love and ask to be forgiven ahead of time.

i am particulairly close with one of my neighbors. We live in a small community of 9 houses, surrounded by fields of crops and hay. It was meant to be a town in the late 18 hundreds that never took off.
i am particulairly close to one of my neighbors. They moved here while her children were still small, one of them in a playpen.
We became friends, never living in each others pocket, but close enough when she sneezed in her yard i hollared bless you and heard a reply of thank you. And often took walks together in the evening.
i watched her family grow up....and listioned to her grieving when her beloved grandfather died, and her working thru the resentment of a father which deserted her natal family when young.

Then it became our turn when we began to grow older. She made the phone calls after a storm, checking to make sure we were o.k. Inviting us over for holidays if she knew no family would show up.

She became a very devout Christian along the way, she and her whole family. After a couple of tries it became evident she wasn't going to make any head way with me and it stopped. i always listioned to her relationship with her faith, and she respected my wishes to be left as i was.

So it went, two of us, one young one old, one devout, one irreverant.

This month...my friend was diagnosed with cancer. It happened suddenly, seemingly healthy, just a small discomfort that wouldn't go away. Even then it was thought the removal would be straight foreward and simple.
Not so.
An emergency trip back to the hospital revealed the cancer was in other organs.

At this time she knew she could rely on me to take care of things at home. As we have always done with each other, all our possesions, and privacies are entrusted to the other.

Yesterday she called me from the hospital. And for the first time in a long time i cried when she told me she had cut her hair. Her hair has never been cut in her adult life except for the times i trimmed the ends. i was the only one she trusted to do it...and her hair was long enough to sit on. She gave it to 'locks of love' before the chemo could take it from her.
It wasn;t just the cutting of hair, it was the symbol that this was just the first of many sacrifices that will be called for, and in her voice i could hear the blessing she gave with the hair to whoever might have use of it.

When we hung up i went to her house and got it ready for her homecomming.

i have been involved in much death and dying...and this is the conclusion i've reached. It matters not whether the existance of a god can be proved or disproved, believed or not believed. The closest thing we have for comfort and strength is each other, believer and disbeliever.

What is love? Maybe it is such a simple thing it escapes definition....maybe it is that which is valued transcending ownership, and the symptom is gifting of self.

That is a large part of the essence of humanism.

Still, there is (remarkably enough in the Bible) a rather excellent description of love:

My own definition of love is that state in which we care about the well-being of others at least as much as we care about our own.

When that state exists, it ceases to matter why it exists.

__________________
evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

Dear Chippingaway,

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that with us. I can connect with the idea of "gifting of self". I think it's not what you believe that matters, but what you do and you are doing wonderful things. I truly hope all turns out well for your friend. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

__________________
InterfaithForums.com-Where your ideas and beliefs count.

Chipping

Thank you for your post and I send my Love to you and your freind who inspired this post
We are eternally safe whatever the eyes may appear to show us

EH Thank you for your response which again tells me you know God very well - You just use a different term of reference for the same thing

Thanks for reading this, and the responsive good wishes. Am in this to the finish whatever it may be.

Yeah EH.... humanhood is the most basic thing we can share with each other. Whatever else each of us may percieve it is essentialy a private viewing. As you've been saying, let us take care of our humanhood, it allows for ALL other things in this amazing adventure we call life.

Thanks lightkeeper and Tonya,....gentle thoughts to all of you

Chippingaway

I am so sorry your friend has to face such a horrible disease. You and her will be in my thoughts and prayers.

In spite of your claim to not understand love and why we throw around that word so "carelessly" I think you hit the nail on the head. Love is when we care for someone as much as we would care for ourselves.

Blessed Be, and take care of your friend. I pray she recovers fully from this.

__________________
"Philosophy is a walk on a slippery rock
Religion is a smile on a dog."

Thank you, Chippingaway, for reminding me of the meaning behind the small things we do for each other and how important they are. Love is not always glamorous - it is knowing that we're all connected, that our joys and sorrows are shared. It is this that make life worthwhile. Like the others here, I pray for peace, healing and hope for you and your friend.

Love is what binds together the cosmos and so behind gravity and the matrix of things...

With human beings I think we intellectualize a lot and our minds distance ourselves from emotions and this can often only be pierced or transcended... that is the rationalizing side of intelligence ... with love.

Crises bring out the love that people can have and also those who manipulate others for gain in crises..but our own end in this world can bring out love for each other.

In the Baha'i Faith there is a description of love that I think can appy:

The more love is expressed among mankind and the stronger the power of unity, the greater will be this reflection and revelation, for the greatest bestowal of God is love. Love is the source of all the bestowals of God. Until love takes possession of the heart no other divine bounty can be revealed in it.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith - Abdu'l-Baha Section, p. 218)

__________________
"it benefits us to be thoughtful, not of the glory of our minds, but rather, above all else, of the glory of God."
- Johannes Kepler

Athra

Absolutely

it sounds very much like gift of the magi, giving up something you cherish dearly so to make someone else happy and grateful.

__________________
- Wisdom comes when you stop looking for it. -
"If God were alive today, he'd be an atheist" - Kurt Vonnegut

Please visit my foster dog blog: The Colbert Report.