Last time, we chose a specific loss/relationship to examine closely. We also specifically looked at things that we wished were different in how we or the other person acted or in what one of us said. Amends, as in making amends, are reparations or apologies. These are for the things that you did or did not do in that relationship. You do not owe amends for something another person did.

Some people have difficulty taking this step. Some like to hold their pain and remain a sort of victim of things that "happened to us." A "victim" does not feel the need to apologize. We often let that stand in our way of healing, or feel that "we were right" and cannot let ourselves apologize. Make some apologies for those items that showed up on your relationship line. Do this in a mirror, in a letter you never mail, etc. Just make a list right now.

At this point we need to look at two words that are sometimes interchanged. Forgiveness, or no longer feeling resentment, and Condoning, or treating something as of little importance. Those are NOT the same. We are after fogriveness. We need to acknowledge things that hurt us, and allow ourselves to not let those things hurt us anymore. Forgiveness can help us regain a sense of well-being. It, however, is an action, not a feeling in itself. This does not including forgetting the incident(s), but removing their power over you. This does not have to be done to a person's face, they may never know. You need to state what has hurt you and that you will not let is hurt you any longer. This can be done to mirror, in a letter you never mail, to a safe partner. Make a list right now.

We also need to finish out the emotional communications that are incomplete. There are lots of unsaid and undone things in life, and they can pile up to build your sense of incompleteness. Write down a few things you wish you had shared: I loved you, I appreciated --, I struggled when you --, etc.

Next time we will combine those lists into a final completion letter/writing.
Peace.

Thanks for this like to know how you can finish out emotional communications when the other person won't let ya. I am the type of person who hates leaving things unsaid or undone but maybe somethings are better left unsaid in my case i am sure. I mean you know what ya did wrong and all and its hard when the other person doesn't believe you. So then what just chalk it up as it may never be resolved??