We are now going to take the information you have gathered about your feelings in the relationship chosen and write a letter to the person whose relationship/loss you have chosen (ex spouse, deceased friend or spouse, ex boos, etc). This is best done in one sitting, and when you can be alone uninterrupted. Have your timeline and lists of amends, forginess and emotional statements handy. There is no limit as to how much you can write, but don't let volume cover your emotional intensity. This may or may not be an emotional process, and either way is fine.

Format you letter simply:
Dear........

........, I apologize for.....
......., I apologize for.....

......, I forgive you for....

...., I want you to know ..........

You may certainly have more in each area than I showed in the example, but try to keep them grouped so that you can keep track that you have said what you wanted to.

Close your letter with an actual goodbye. You may want to say I miss you, I love you, I wish we were still friends, but also include the goodbye. This makes it complete. You are saying goodbye to the pain, the incompleteness and the discomfort, not to the memories you wish to keep.

You may wait a day or so, and then read your letter to a safe person, or to yourself in the mirror. Say it aloud. Have kleenex handy, and it may be emotional, but keep going. Push the words out even if upset, don't swallow your pain. If you have to read it alone, having a picture or other reminder handy might also help make a connection. Some even find it helpful reading it at a grave site. Keep the letter, it can be your symbol of recovery.

Congratulations, this is a hard step. Think about your release of the pain, and how it felt to actually get to say those things you wish you had. We will talk again about "what next?"
Peace