Do we mistake codependency for love? Can we learn to love and be loved in a more healthy way?

The following is a list of common codependency characteristics.

1. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you
2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you
3. Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving 4. your problems/relieving your pain
5. My mental attention is focused on you
6. My mental attention is focused on protecting you
7. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my way
8. My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems
9. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain
10. My own hobbies/interests are put to one side. My time is spent sharing . your hobbies/interests
11. Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires and I feel you are a reflection of me
12. Your behaviour is dictated by my desires and I feel you are a reflection of me
13. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
14. I am not aware of what I want - I ask what you want. I am not aware - I assume
15. The dreams I have for my future are linked to you
16. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do
17. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do
18. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship
19. My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you
20. I put my values aside in order to connect with you
21. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own
22. The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours

How to recover from codependency is realizing the following.

__________________
InterfaithForums.com-Where your ideas and beliefs count.