It is during the holidays and other special occasions when we think most of those who have crossed over or possibly you have recently experienced a loss.

I recommend that you carry a Stone, called a Rose Quartz. It brings comfort an joy at times of great sorrow or loss.

Another option is a Bach Flower Remedy called Walnut. It helps you adapt to change, and if combined with Honeysuckle it will help break links to the past.

Thank you. I have some Rose Quartz. I will carry it with me. This is a tough time of year for some people.

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I felt as though I should respond to this particular thread, for I have experienced a profound loss during the Holiday season, many years ago.

My father raised me since I was about five years old. We had our ups and downs just as all parents and children do. The one thing I always knew, was that he loved me unconditionally. No matter what I had done wrong, no matter what unfortunate choices I had made, he was always there for me.

When I was in my early twenties, I was working for the postal system at a bulk mail center on the late shift. It was about two hours 'till quiting time and I decided to call my dad who lived in Greenwood Lake, New York, to find out what the bus schedule was for the next day. It was Christmas Eve. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't answering the phone. I had been living with a co-worker and his wife at the time and suddenly this fellow was walking up to me. He said that I should go home with him. I thought something had happened to his wife who was pregnant and who had just lost her grandmother a week before. He kept insisting that I leave and go with him. I felt an uncomfortable feeling and pressed him to tell me what happened. Finally he said, " Martha, it's your father." I can't even describe the mournful sound that left my body. I was devastated. For about two years afterwards I cried every night. I hated the world and God for taking my dad on Christmas Eve. Whenever I heard someone laugh I would think to myself, "How can you laugh, don't you know my father is gone?" Of course they didn't, but I just couldn't fathom the reality of the circumstance. Christmas wasn't the same for me anymore, I just could not celebrate the Holidays.

Time truly is the great healer, for eventually I came to terms with the fact that my Daddy was gone. With time, all of the good and joyful memories began to come to me. The bad things didn't seem so bad anymore. Now some thirty years later I will still shed a tear of saddness at the loss of him but it isn't so very gut wrenching. It is more of a tear of love and rememberance and the joy of knowing and loving him.

I wrote a poem for someone who had lost their dad and I would like to share it with you all. I think the words of the poem speak for themselves as to how I feel about the loss of a loved one.

I didn't know your father,
But I know you loved him so.
If it's any consolation,
He didn't really go.
He's there whenever you recall
The things you did together,
A walk, a talk, a secret joke,
These memories last forever.

I lost my dad some time ago,
So I know just how you feel.
Believe me my dear one
In God's good time
Your broken heart will heal.

So my friends, if you are grief stricken by the loss of someone dear to you I will say just this; in time it won't hurt so very very deeply. That ache in your chest will begin to be replaced by happy memories. The awful pain will subside, I promise. Allow yourself to grieve as long as you must, for we all take our own time. We all live and we all must die and eventually we will all recognize this reality. Remember your loved ones and be happy that you had them in your life and then let the pain go. Soon you will think of them with joy, not sorrow. You will begin to tell the stories of the beautiful and funny things that happened with them. You will heal and recover from this loss.

Peace be with you, my dear ones.

Martha

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Imagine all the people living life in peace,...John Lennon

I have rose quartz on my altar. I also carry blood obsidian on me, and have banded jade on my computer. The obsidian is the strongest/most powerful stone I have, and is the soul stone for my medicine wheel. Also, all my stones on my altar, that I carry, and on my computer, have been empowered.

I will agree with you both and say that many things are useful in the healing process. I appreciate the wisdom from both of you regarding the healing stones and essences. Thanks for the guidance.


Joyfully,
Martha

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Imagine all the people living life in peace,...John Lennon

I've passed over this topic thread lately, though it seems I should not, since in the past half-year both my father and my teacher (of 30 years) have died. It is supposed to be traumatic, and either I'm totally calloused, or am totally out of touch with my inner self (whatever that is, it's another topic), for I feel no great sorrow. Though I confess to shedding more thana few tears at both deathbeds. It's hard to see your loved ones deteriorate, and in my father's case, to watch him watch himself deteriorate.


I do miss my Teacher Richard Rose, but it's been a more than a few years since we talked, as he was silent for the past half dozen. and my father lived 500 miles away, so visits were few. We wrote fairly often, talked on the phone somewhat regularly, and had a good relationship after years of separation. Yet in both cases, I am secure in knowing (how? dunno) that they are both here still, in the Eternal Now, and it's just my limited consciousness that makes it seem otherwise. The veil of death is but a shadow, through which we shall all walk, reuinted evermore. Of this I am convinced.

What an exquisite load of crap!

During "holidays and other special occasions", I enjoy what's here and now, and I most certainly don't reflect on people who have disappeared.

Carrying any kind of grit or withered flowers does nothing to me. I have too small a garden to grow walnuts, and there's a great risk that they wouldn't survive our winters, and I'm as well sadly slightly too much to the north to successfully grow any Loniceras (which I love). If I found any other use for them than enjoying them grow or displaying them prettily indoors, I would run to the nearest psychiatrist.

Very wonderful sentiments. It is a pity that people wait until only these times to feel that way. I try to remember daily, all those who came before. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them, and for that matter, for every person I've interacted with. I feel very thankful for them, and at the same time, very sad for those people who totally disregard others and those who have come before, sometimes even deluding themselves into thinking that no one else has had any hand in making them the person they are. (One of the biggest self delusions is when you hear the statement, "I'm a self made person". That can only be true if a person spends their entire life in isolation.)

Thank you for the wonderful thoughts! They are appreciated.

Don't know if carrying "walnut" will help or not, or if the aforementioned offering by another member is "an exquisite load of crap", but am quite certain the psychiatrist would recommend you ingest a concoction of his persuasion, which is usually the latest pharmaceutical being pushed, most often freebees to them, along with golf and other travel junkets by the drug manufacturers. And that, for sure, is a load of crap.

Michael, I do not think you are calloused. I believe we shed tears for two reasons. We are mourning our loss (which I believe is extremely important) - because no matter what, we have experienced a loss. And we ar happy for the one that has moved on (for most, this is probably more of a subconscious thing). I also believe that most people enjoy the here and now, but some have a very difficult time with this time of year. It is neither right or wrong, it is simply where that individual needs to be at the time - and that is OKAY.

Walnut and Honeysuckle are tinctures created by a Dr. Bach (yes, a medical doctor)Tools for healing exist all around us. They may be in the form of a tree, flower, stone, oil, friend, therapist, stranger....but they do exist. It is each individuals choice as to whether they will and how they use these tools. I believe that it is important for each of us to pass on what knowledge we may have to help those around us heal. To make something a bit easier for someone else - isn't that part of the reason we are all here?

Just as tools for healing exist all around us, so does choice - the choice to heal or the choice to hold on to pain or injustices. Again neither of these choices are right or wrong! I believe that we are always where we need to be when we are there. We may not like where we are sometimes or, we like where we are so much we don't want to do/try anything else. So, in each case - where would our growth come from?