Your History

[octavius]

There are so many of us here from incredibly diverse backgrounds...

I'd love to read some brief but detailed histories of YOUR personal journeys that brought you to where you are today. If I may be so bold, I'll start...

I was the only non-Catholic in my class from grades 1-12 while attending two private Catholic Primary and High schools. I dove deeply into religious studies from an early age despite chiding by my peers as someone who was never "acceptable." Not having received the sacraments of Christianity within a small Catholic community labeled me as an oddity at best, and the Anti-Christ at worst.

I studied religion formally in various colleges as well as on my own. After many years of introspection, coursework, volumes of books, retreats, services, etc, I discovered that the only form of divinity I could understand was my own. This lead me to a formal identification as a Satanist, and later an Ophidian Suitheist. Many others here acknowledge their own inner divinity in different ways. Nobody has an all-encompassing answer that is correct for anyone other than themselves, but I find it incredibly interesting to find others who acknowledge personal divinity (not defined as an external deity's presence in their life) and are not auto-theists.

To each their own. I am glad to be here where ideas are shared and respected.

[Schizophretard]

I was also raised Catholic but eventually converted to the Church of Christ. I studied things like creationism and apologetics on my own. One day I was on Youtube and found some atheists. I wanted to hear their point of view to help me understand "The Enemy". So, I decided to listen to them and to assume that they have good reasons for their points instead of believing they were deceived by Satan. After about a month of listening I totally lost my faith in the Bible but I didn't become an atheists. I didn't know what I was. I felt like I believed in God but not the Bible. The best I could do was call myself an atheist that believes in God. Soon after I discovered that what I became was a Deist and I've been one ever since.

[vivamis123]

I can't really say that I was raised Cathlic...even though I sometimes say that. My mother believes in a God...and I don't know about my real father. The only religios influence I had as a young child was through sunday school. My parents dropped us (8 kids) off there, I think to have time for themselves.

At the age of 12 we moved to Germany and I went to a cathlic school till the end of my school years. At that point I started to experience "things". I would see situations in colors and numbers. My love started to grow for God and I decided to become a nun. I started to devote my entire attention to prayer and my relationship to God.

Instead of becomming a nun....I got pregant. I still went to church on Sunday's but turn away from the Cathlic church after a few years, when I outgrew their beliefs. I continued on my own. No classes nor books, nor were there any others in my life that had simular beliefs and experiences.

I just kept for myself....lived a double life: One part of me was a mystic...and the other part of me was just Vivian (with husband, child/children, houshold).

Not until I came back to America (13 years ago) did I start to share....and was shared with. I became more comfortable and the two (mystic + Vivian) became one.

[Tonyamendola]

I was baptised a Roman Catholic
That was the end of my Religious Education

By early teens I was dreaming of future events that then took place

Age 30ish I looked into the Bible and found One part sepaking of a Loving God and the other a hatefull God - decided only one could be true and declared that if God was Loving he would show me the truth, if not i wanted no part of "God"
Lest it like that

2003 - Expereince of LOVE (God) in direct Revelation


So in essence I am NOT Religious although I use certains terms ie Jesus, God etc

[metis]

This is the VERY short version for me.

I grew up Lutheran, went through an agnostic period in my 20's, converted to Catholicism (my wife's denomination) in my 30's whereas later I taught Catholic theology for 14 years to adults, and then a funny thing happend on my way to the "Vatican" in my early 50's whereas my "plane" got hijacked to "Jerusalem".

[Schizophretard]

Originally Posted by metis

This is the VERY short version for me.

I grew up Lutheran, went through an agnostic period in my 20's, converted to Catholicism (my wife's denomination) in my 30's whereas later I taught Catholic theology for 14 years to adults, and then a funny thing happend on my way to the "Vatican" in my early 50's whereas my "plane" got hijacked to "Jerusalem".

So, you went from a Lutheran to an agnostic to a Catholic and then finally to a Jew? I bet that is an interesting story! How does that happen? Did you only lose faith in half the Bible? I'm seriously interested! What happened?

[metis]

Originally Posted by Schizophretard

So, you went from a Lutheran to an agnostic to a Catholic and then finally to a Jew? I bet that is an interesting story! How does that happen? Did you only lose faith in half the Bible? I'm seriously interested! What happened?

Yes, "interesting" and difficult. However, I'll still be fairly brief.

An area of interest for me was the 2nd century church, and I essentially read my way through libraries and bookstores on that subject. But in studying the 2nd century church, I continued to have questions dealing with why Christianity broke away from Judaism and began to increasingly developing a quite separate identity as it gradually walked away from Jewish teachings and traditions. This led me to a rather intense study of the Judaism at the time of Jesus and, as with my study of the 2nd century church, this process also took a fair number of years. As this time period in my life went on, however, I was still very much Christian.


Then around 16 or 17 years ago, I was reading a new book I'd just purchased dealing with modern Judaism, and one of the things mentioned was, whereas Christians deal with the Messianic predictions as being very fundamental, Jews picture these references as being relatively minor, along with the belief that Jesus did not fulfill the messianic prophecies. I already knew about the fact that Jews consider these predictions as being of lesser importance, but I considered their position that Jesus could not be the Messiah as being very suspect to say the least. So, I was going to prove them wrong.

I then began to read the O.T. very carefully, taking notes as I went along, working on this around 2 hours or so a day on the average. I used three different Bibles, two Christian commentaries, and a concordance. The process covered roughly nine months, and when I finished I was stunned. I remember sitting in my living room as I finished the O.T. in a state of shock. What to do now??

I took a several month reprieve, and then I started in on the N.T., continuing to take notes and looking up all N.T. references to verses from the O.T. Since the N.T. is substantially shorter than the O.T., this process only took me about three months. When I finally finished, I was more than shocked-- I was depressed. What I was brought up to believe just wasn't there. What to do now?

I sat on this for several months, but I already had been visiting synagogues because of my studies (I also taught comparative religions classes about a decade previous, so I did a lot of "church hopping"). Even though I didn't much talk about what was happening with me to my wife (who's Catholic) because I didn't want her to worry, she well knew what was happening in general, and it was beginning to take a toll on her as well. After several months, I decided that I would not convert simply because it is unnecessary to do so according to halacha (Jewish Law).

At first, both my wife and I were happy about my decision, but it became increasingly aware to my wife that I was sort of living a lie and that, in reality, I was a "closet" Jew. She then encouraged me to convert, but I refused. Then, over a series of several months, she told me that it was much more difficult for her because of being in limbo than if I just went ahead and converted. I still refused. After a couple of more months, she still kept working on me, and there was a Catholic retreat coming up, so I told her that I would go on this silent retreat and think about it.

On the last day of the retreat, I went to confession with a Jesuit priest whom I respected because of his education, and I told him what was going on. I asked if he could help to show me where I was going wrong, but he said he couldn't. I asked if there was any one he could refer me to and he said he couldn't. He then asked me if I was continuing to take the sacraments, and I told him yes. He asked why, and I told him that I wasn't 100% positive. He pointed out that we can never be 100% positive and that I should stop taking the sacraments until I got this all ironed out one way or another. Again, I was more than stunned-- I was devastated.

When I told my wife, she asked me what I was going to do, and I said I don't know. Finally, with her urging me on, I talked to the rabbi at the synagogue that I was more attracted to (I had already taken classes there), asked him what he thought, and he said that I should only convert when I look in the mirror in the morning and see a Jew. IOW, I should not convert because of pressure or some sort of emotional response. I waited for another several months, and we set a date.

This whole process took three and a half years. Fortunately, my wife and "kids" accepted the change and my wife attends services with me and thoroughly enjoys it. She's thought about converting but is hesitating, and I do not in any way put any pressure on her whatsoever. Our older daughter, who was Catholic as well, is bringing her kids up Jewish and she's planning on converting very shortly.

Well, that's what happened in brief.

[Lightkeeper]

I was raised Christian, but we didn't go to church regularly. I remember singing in a chruch choir for a while when I was a teenager. I never quite understood what was happening in church. As a young adult I rarely attended church and felt guilty about it. I just couldn't wrap my brain around it.

In my 30's I met an older woman in a poetry group we both attended. She became a mentor and introduced me to Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, and taking the Bible inwardly. This was a profound and tough experience. She was a mentor for about 15 years. During this time I did have an enlightenment experience, but didn't realize what it was until recently. after that I had many revelations and a very different way of looking at religion. Some of the things I said surprised me. I remember telling a fundamentalist Christian that the Bible bypasses the mind and speaks to something deeper in us and it was useless arguing about it's meanings. I think I looked more surprised than he did that that came from me. With this woman I began a journey of mysticism.

I no longer feel guilty about not attending church. Occasionally I attend the Unity church, especially if they have a minister from a different religion.

[Schizophretard]

Originally Posted by metis

Yes, "interesting" and difficult. However, I'll still be fairly brief.

An area of interest for me was the 2nd century church, and I essentially read my way through libraries and bookstores on that subject. But in studying the 2nd century church, I continued to have questions dealing with why Christianity broke away from Judaism and began to increasingly developing a quite separate identity as it gradually walked away from Jewish teachings and traditions. This led me to a rather intense study of the Judaism at the time of Jesus and, as with my study of the 2nd century church, this process also took a fair number of years. As this time period in my life went on, however, I was still very much Christian.


Then around 16 or 17 years ago, I was reading a new book I'd just purchased dealing with modern Judaism, and one of the things mentioned was, whereas Christians deal with the Messianic predictions as being very fundamental, Jews picture these references as being relatively minor, along with the belief that Jesus did not fulfill the messianic prophecies. I already knew about the fact that Jews consider these predictions as being of lesser importance, but I considered their position that Jesus could not be the Messiah as being very suspect to say the least. So, I was going to prove them wrong.

I then began to read the O.T. very carefully, taking notes as I went along, working on this around 2 hours or so a day on the average. I used three different Bibles, two Christian commentaries, and a concordance. The process covered roughly nine months, and when I finished I was stunned. I remember sitting in my living room as I finished the O.T. in a state of shock. What to do now??

I took a several month reprieve, and then I started in on the N.T., continuing to take notes and looking up all N.T. references to verses from the O.T. Since the N.T. is substantially shorter than the O.T., this process only took me about three months. When I finally finished, I was more than shocked-- I was depressed. What I was brought up to believe just wasn't there. What to do now?

I sat on this for several months, but I already had been visiting synagogues because of my studies (I also taught comparative religions classes about a decade previous, so I did a lot of "church hopping"). Even though I didn't much talk about what was happening with me to my wife (who's Catholic) because I didn't want her to worry, she well knew what was happening in general, and it was beginning to take a toll on her as well. After several months, I decided that I would not convert simply because it is unnecessary to do so according to halacha (Jewish Law).

At first, both my wife and I were happy about my decision, but it became increasingly aware to my wife that I was sort of living a lie and that, in reality, I was a "closet" Jew. She then encouraged me to convert, but I refused. Then, over a series of several months, she told me that it was much more difficult for her because of being in limbo than if I just went ahead and converted. I still refused. After a couple of more months, she still kept working on me, and there was a Catholic retreat coming up, so I told her that I would go on this silent retreat and think about it.

On the last day of the retreat, I went to confession with a Jesuit priest whom I respected because of his education, and I told him what was going on. I asked if he could help to show me where I was going wrong, but he said he couldn't. I asked if there was any one he could refer me to and he said he couldn't. He then asked me if I was continuing to take the sacraments, and I told him yes. He asked why, and I told him that I wasn't 100% positive. He pointed out that we can never be 100% positive and that I should stop taking the sacraments until I got this all ironed out one way or another. Again, I was more than stunned-- I was devastated.

When I told my wife, she asked me what I was going to do, and I said I don't know. Finally, with her urging me on, I talked to the rabbi at the synagogue that I was more attracted to (I had already taken classes there), asked him what he thought, and he said that I should only convert when I look in the mirror in the morning and see a Jew. IOW, I should not convert because of pressure or some sort of emotional response. I waited for another several months, and we set a date.

This whole process took three and a half years. Fortunately, my wife and "kids" accepted the change and my wife attends services with me and thoroughly enjoys it. She's thought about converting but is hesitating, and I do not in any way put any pressure on her whatsoever. Our older daughter, who was Catholic as well, is bringing her kids up Jewish and she's planning on converting very shortly.

Well, that's what happened in brief.

Interesting story! I've never heard of someone losing faith in Christianity and then converting to Judaism. I'm confused though. Why is it that after being so convinced in the N.T. and then losing faith in it that you are now convinced in just the O.T.? Why didn't you lose faith in both?

I've always wondered what the major differences between Christianity and Judaism are and I think since you've been both you probably can answer those questions for me. So, what are the major differences? Also, another thing I'm confused about Jews is they don't remind me of the religion that is taught in the O.T. Why don't they stone sinners, sacrifice animals, and stuff like that anymore? When I read the O.T. the religion in it reminds me of Islamic fundamentalism. There is all these holy wars, and stonings, and stuff like that. If these things were going on today there would probably be Judaism Fundamentalism and there would probably be Jewish terrorists. Why is it not like that. Do they not follow the O.T. anymore just like Christians don't or do they have other books kind of like their own N.T. and they no longer have to follow the O.T.?

[Schizophretard]

Originally Posted by Lightkeeper

I was raised Christian, but we didn't go to church regularly. I remember singing in a chruch choir for a while when I was a teenager. I never quite understood what was happening in church. As a young adult I rarely attended church and felt guilty about it. I just couldn't wrap my brain around it.

In my 30's I met an older woman in a poetry group we both attended. She became a mentor and introduced me to Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, and taking the Bible inwardly. This was a profound and tough experience. She was a mentor for about 15 years. During this time I did have an enlightenment experience, but didn't realize what it was until recently. after that I had many revelations and a very different way of looking at religion. Some of the things I said surprised me. I remember telling a fundamentalist Christian that the Bible bypasses the mind and speaks to something deeper in us and it was useless arguing about it's meanings. I think I looked more surprised than he did that that came from me. With this woman I began a journey of mysticism.

I no longer feel guilty about not attending church. Occasionally I attend the Unity church, especially if they have a minister from a different religion.

That's deep! What does it mean to take the Bible inwardly?