Does a wife have the right to refuse sex with her husband? - Page 3

mizzjaiy · #21 (**permalink**) 26th February 2008, 12:40 AM

Thanks for the welcome Vivamis!

My opinion is that in this day and age a woman has a right to make all of her own opinions and choices including when, where, and how she wants to have sex and with whom - gender included. I don't subscribe to anti-women Islamic beliefs or the beliefs of some scholar sitting behind a desk.

Traditions of many socities [ not just Islamic ] nowadays are being confused with hard evidence from the Qu'ran ; Torah ; Bible & ect. If you take anything strictly literally from any scripture you should go back and read between the lines. Everything has a chance for change and revision including sex laws and marriage laws - this is seen through all the different Prophets throughout the world who constantly promoted change and love and peace regardless of what was going on around them.

So why is that is seems a woman is still behind in this regard?!

Lightkeeper · #22 (**permalink**) 26th February 2008, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mizzjaiy

Okay the original question of this forum was dealing with Muslims being able to refuse their husband.. As a Muslim woman I have to respectively disagree with you Fahad1 sorry..

The opinions of the scholars on the matter of women denying sex is very controversial but I want to throw this out there..Although I do not deny traditions or opinions of the scholars in general they are but opinions of scholars. There is no Qu'ranic evidence to say that a woman doesn't have the right to refuse her husband from having sex with her. The Qu'ran was one of the first sources to give women rights far before women in other places had them.

Welcome to the forum and the good first post!!! I also would like to hear more from your perspective.

mizzjaiy · #23 (**permalink**) 26th February 2008, 12:51 AM

Lightkeeper,

Thanks for the welcome.

Peace

vivamis123 · #24 (**permalink**) 26th February 2008, 02:00 AM

You go girl! I don't know the Qu'ran, but from what Fahad1 quote, I did not agree on his interpretation. Thank you for posting in this thread. Your post was personal and insightful.

DeistPrincess · #25 (**permalink**) 30th September 2008, 05:21 PM

[223]¤Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe. ¤ [Q 2:223]

I think that this verse makes it pretty clear that a husband has the right to enter their tilths ( wives) whenever they want so yeah i think that a good muslimah has to consent to her husbands needs everytime he asks for it. If i didn't understand the verse clearly, you can correct me. :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fahad1

Nice question, no it is a report from a hadith,not a verse of Qur'an.

Well, it is not a theft because a wife is a women who is legally married to you,she is not unrelated to you and after marriage she has a relation with you which is even appreciated by God and if a husband requires her wife to have sex with him then she should go for it because God wants husband and wife to have good and strong relation ,but please remember that the biggest aim and objective of satan is the distroy the relation between husband and wife, this is why you see so many divorce ratios in the world, and their is a hadith (I donot remember its reference) in which Prophet(pbuh) has said "satan enjoys the most when he creates misunderstanding between a husband and wife",because he doesnot want any relation to be strong and healthy which is appreciated in the sight of God".

Thats why the angels curse such women who doesnot have sex with her husband.

Please note that Islam is not against sexual intercourse, it is against illegal sexual intercourse which takes place before marriage or between those couples that are unmarried because sex is a gift from Lord and He has set perimeters for it to take place.

Let me give you an example, Is driving illegal? Offcourse not, but driving without a driver license is illegal and wrong. If you drive a car with a driver license then their is nothing wrong with your driving and a police will not catch you or give you a ticket.

In the similar way sex before or without marriage is wrong and illegal.

I hope you have a better pic but still if you need any further clarification, please donot hesitate to let me know.

Regards

Your arguments are contradicting each other, you say that Allah wants happy and healthy marriages ; you really think that having sex with your wife while she's not really wanting to but does it because she fears to be cursed by angels will make healthy and strong marriage?

If you want a healthy marriage i think you should rather ask the two spouses to take each others needs and wants into consideration, inclueding the wife's consent and wants in regards to sex. The wife will feel bad and opressed if she forces herself to engage into sexual intercouse with her husband out of fear for Allah's angels, one day she might not be able to take it anymore and this will lead to arguing and maybe divorce so i don't really see how it strenghtens the bond of marriage in any way. Besides, it is unfair to say that women get cursed and not men, i basicly don't want any of them to be cursed, but if there's equality does not make sense for one to have a punishment and not the other, like when the husband asks for sex, the wife will go imediatly, but when the wife asks for it the husband can refuse whenever he wants - i doubt many men will refuse, but well...it still happens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fahad1

nice question sir, but in Islam a women is not like a western women who can openly ask husband for sex, our women are mostly shy and cannot openly ask for sex especially 1400 years ago when the world was not modern and advance at all thats why we donot see such issues mentioned in the hadiths where a muslim women demands for sex from husband but I do remember their are certain issues in which women are reported to have complained for their husbands and even at present muslim women contact Islamic Scholars and Alims and complain about their husbands and ask about rulings of Islam over it.

Islam is not onesided religion sir,

And you said that muslimah's are not like western women who ask their husbands for sex. I understand that you want your women to be shy and not to immodest, but please, it is her husband! There's no need for her to be shy around him, everything is permitted as long as it stays between them so why do you want your women not to voice their needs when it's about sex? Why should the husband have the right to go ask for sexual satisfaction all he wants while the wife should remain silent about it?

I really hope that these is just a misinterpretation because i don't see why any wife shall be treated this way...

Peace be upon ya'll

DeistPrincess

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