How to Shabbat Friday night!

[Jewscout]

So i thought it would be fun to run through a typical shabbat friday night ceremony and meal. again i'll write this up to reflect a traditional Erev Shabbat the best i can.

sooooo
for the most part you (and your family) would get food and things thursday and friday before shabbat begins (since you can't go out and buy stuff once Shabbat starts). All food has to be "cooked" by the start of Shabbat that night, this includes food for the following day (by "cook" this does not include reheating foods, mostly solid foods like meats or a pie, which is permissable and also food that kinda cooks overnight, such as a cholent, a traditional shabbat dish that is allowed to essentially simmer for about 24 hours and is served saturday at lunch and is delicious!). The table is set w/ your best dishes and glasses and you and your family are dressed in your best shabbat-wear
everything should be done in time for candlelighting which you can find at many different websites or from your local synagogue. (i like www.ou.org ). The traditions for candles are different depending on where you are. For the most part i've seen the lighting of 2 candles on Shabbat, one to represent each of the 2 versions of the mitzvot regarding shabbat, zachor , to remember Shabbat and shamor, to observe Shabbat. Also i've seen families have many more candles for shabbat, for example one family has a candle for each of their children (of which they have 4). Usually the woman of the house lights the candles (if there are no women present then it is ok for a man to light them). One reason is of the centrality of the mother/wife in any jewish home as women, i have found, are often described as the spiritual center of a jewish family.
The woman (or man depending on the case) lights the candles, covers her eyes, and prays, along with all present the blessing to welcome the sabbath

(from aish.com)
following candle lighting everyone leaves and goes to a short evening service (it's about 45 minutes or so depending) and then they return home...

[Jewscout]

...once the family returns home the home ceremony continues with the recitation of Shalom Aleichem . This is a traditional greating one jew would give to another, but this evening it is part of a song which is used to welcome the angels. The Midrash explains that when you come home you have 2 angels with you, one good one bad. If the atmosphere at home is a happy, festive one, and the home is clean and prepared properly for shabbat and the family is in their best then the good angel says "So may it be next week" and the bad angel is forced to say "Amen". But if the everyone's in a bad mood, the house is wreck, the kids are fighting etc. the bad angel says, "So may it be next week" and the good angel is forced to say "Amen".
It is quite a beautiful song and is one of my favorite...

(from Aish.com)
following Shalom Aleichem, the recitation of Eishet Chayil, The Woman of Valor. It is a song dedicated to Jewish women, both within one's family and throughout the jewish world. Jewish women, throughout time, have shown a greater resolve and faith in HaShem than the men, and so we honor them with this song. It is said: The Jewish woman. In whose merit will come the Messiah and the final redemption of the Jewish people. (Talmud - Sotah 11).

(From Aish.com)

Eishes chayil mi yimtza ve-rachok mi-peninim michrah
Batach bah leiv ba'alah ve-shalal lo yech'sar.
Gemalas'hu tov ve-lo ra kol yemei chayeha.
Dar'eshah tzemer u'fishtim va-ta'as be-cheifetz kapeha.

Hay-esa ko-oniyos socheir mi-merchak tavi lachma.
Va-takam be'od laila va-titein teref le-veisah ve-chok le-na'aroseha.
Zamema sadeh va-tika'cheihu mi-peri chapeha nata karem.
Chag'erah ve-oz mas'neha va-te'ameitz zero'oseha.

Ta'ama ki tov sachra lo yich'beh ba-lailah neira.
Yadeha shilchah va-kishor ve-chapeha tamchu falech.
Kapah par'esa le-ani ve-yadeha shil'echah la-evyon.
Lo sira le-veisa mi-shaleg ki chol beisa lavush shanim.

Marvadim as'esa la sheish ve-argaman levusha.
Noda ba-she'arim ba'ala be-shivto im ziknei aretz.
Sadin as'esa va-timkor va-chagor nas'ena la-kena'ani.
Oz ve-hadar levusha va-tis'chak le-yom acharon.

Piha pas'echah ve-chachma ve-soras chesed al leshona.
Tzofiyah halichos beisa ve-lechem atzlus lo socheil.
Kamu vaneha va-ye'ash'eruha ba'ala va-yehal'elah
Rabos banos asu chayil vi-as alis al kulana.

Sheker ha-chein ve-hevel ha-yofi ishah yiras Adonoy hi sis'halal.
Tenu lah mi-pri yadeha vi-haleluha ba-she'arim ma'aseha.

A Woman of Valor, who can find? She is more precious than corals.
Her husband places his trust in her and profits only thereby.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and flax and cheerfully does the work of her hands.

She is like the trading ships, bringing food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night to provide food for her household, and a fair share for her staff.
She considers a field and purchases it, and plants a vineyard with the fruit of her labors.
She invests herself with strength and makes her arms powerful.

She senses that her trade is profitable; her light does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her palms hold the spindle.
She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She has no fear of the snow for her household, for all her household is dressed in fine clothing.

She makes her own bedspreads; her clothing is of fine linen and luxurious cloth.
Her husband is known at the gates, where he sits with the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linens; she supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is robed in strength and dignity, and she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth with wisdom and a lesson of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks after the conduct of her household and never tastes the bread of laziness.
Her children rise up and make her happy; her husband praises her:
"Many women have excelled, but you excell them all!"

Grace is elusive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God -- she shall be praised.
Give her credit for the fruit of her labors, and let her achievements praise her at the gates.

Then the future of the Nation of Israel, the Children, are blessed. Typically the father places his hands on the heads of his children and says the blessings:
For the Boys:

For the Girls:

(both from Aish.com)

[Jewscout]

Following that Kiddush is made, which is a blessing over kosher wine (or grape juice). Usually a family has a special cup specifically for this act and the cup is filled to the very brim. Before the blessing is made the challah bread (2 loaves) should be brought out and covered. then the blessing is recited.

(Quietly: Va-ye-hee erev, va-ye-hee voker.) Yom Ha-shishi. Va-ye-chulu hasha-mayim vi-ha-aretz vi-kole tzi-va-am. Va-yichal Elohim ba-yom hashe-vi'i milach-to asher asa. Va-yish-bose ba-yome hashe-vi'I mi-kole milach-to asher asa. Va-ye-varech Elohim es yom hashe-vi'i va-yi-kadesh oso. Kee voe shavas mi-kole milach-toe asher bara Elohim la-a-sose.

Savri maranan ve-rabanan ve-rabosai: Baruch ata Adonoy, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei peri ha-gafen. (Others respond: "Amen")

Baruch ata Adonoy, Elo-heinu melech ha-Olam, asher kidish-anu bi-mitz-vosav vi-ratza vanu, vi-Shabbos kod-sho bi-ahava uv-ratzon hin-chi-lanu, zikaron lima-aseh vi-raishis. Ki hu yom ti-chila li-mikra-ay kodesh, zay-cher li-tzi-as mitz-rayim. Ki vanu vachar-ta vi-osanu kidash-ta mikol ha-amim. Vi-shabbos kod-shicha bi-ahava uv-ratzon hinchal-tanu. Baruch ata Adonoy, mi-kadesh ha-shabbos. ("Amen")

Quietly: It was evening and it was morning.) The sixth day. So the heavens and the earth were finished, with all their complement. On the seventh day, God had completed His work which He had undertaken, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had been doing. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it He ceased from all His creative work, which God had brought into being to fulfill its purpose.

Blessed are You God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. (Others respond: "Amen")

Blessed are You God, King of the Universe, who made us holy with his commandments and favored us, and gave us His holy Shabbat, in love and favor, to be our heritage, as a reminder of the Creation. It is the foremost day of the holy festivals marking the Exodus from Egypt. For out of all the nations You chose us and made us holy, and You gave us Your holy Shabbat, in love and favor, as our heritage. Blessed are you God, Who sanctifies Shabbat. ("Amen")

more to come...

[Jewscout]

So after Kiddush everyone gets up and goes to wash. This is both hygenical washing and a spiritual one as well. Instead of simply using the faucet and the soap to wash, rather you place what in to a washing cup and pour it over your hands, first the right then the left.
a picture of a washing cup:

(from Judaism.com)
There are a few reasons given for this, of course hygene being one. Another is given by Aish.com

Water -- symbolic of Torah; wisdom. Water is the essence of physical life, for without it we would die; whereas wisdom is the essence of spiritual life, the foundation of self-growth and self-realization.

Hands -- symbolic of our interaction in the physical world.

Bread (challah) -- symbolic of physical sustenance; the staff of life.

another i've heard is that on Shabbat our home, our table, become holy places and just as the Kohanim washed before a service, so should we.

after washing, the blessing is said:

(From Aish.com)
and then, YOU SAY NOTHING! Don't talk, at all. No one says anything until they eat bread. However many have the custom of humming songs which is acceptable.
Then everyone sits down and, usually the man of the house, lifts the 2 loaves of bread up, some continue to keep them covered and others don't, then the blessing is recited:

(From Aish.com)
The bread is sliced and salted (another reinactment of temple services and also, some say, a sign of the covenant) and then is passed around for all to eat. Once you have taken the first bite you may talk again and dinner is served!

[Jewscout]

mmmmm that was some good eats!

now it's time for the Grace After Meal, also refered to as bentching. Now there are too many blessings that are apart of this so i will post a link to a pdf document at the end of this post with the full blessings. I'll just address a few things here. On Shabbat, Yom Tovs (holidays) and other special celebrations the first thing that is sung is Shir Ha-ma'alot , a psalm by David talking about the Jews return from exhile, following this song a ceremony called Mayim Acharonim or "Final Waters" takes place where we again wash our hands. Aish.com gives this reason:

Before we handle anything physically precious -- a silver goblet, a newborn baby, a priceless artifact, we make sure our hands are clean. It is a recognition that physical objects can have tremendous value. Mayim Acharonim recognizes that before we approach God and thank Him, we clean our hands.

i have also read that it is to spiritually cleanse us of any yetzer hara , the evil inclination, we may have taken in while we ate the food before we thank G-d for our meal.
Most all the blessings that are recited when you bentch have tunes to them and can greatly help when learning hebrew, but it is permissable to do them in any language you understand.

text for grace after meal:
http://www.aish.com/graphics/shabbos/grace.pdf

Good Shabbas, Shabbat Shalom!