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What do you think? Is forcing our religious beliefs on our children abusive?

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InterfaithForums.com-Where your ideas and beliefs count.

There is a difference between bringing a child up to understand what you believe -- since everyone, at some point, makes their own decision whether they believe or not (or else, where would the Dawkinses of the world have come from??) -- and using belief, tradition or even superior intellect to bully a child.

The latter is abusive; the former is not.

But, even if it is abusive, is it in fact abuse? That is, does it do actual harm to the child?

Here's the funny thing. Many people on this board grew up under sets of child rearing and educational practices that would, today, be considered abusive, if not straightforward abuse. But most of us grew and matured with at least enough insight and compassion to realize we should not and would not submit our own children to such systems -- for good or ill.

Simuilarly, people who grow up in Dawkinsian "abuse" at the hands of religious zealots may well decide to be atheist; and others, raised by Dawkinesque abusive atheists may well become conventionally religous, perhaps even fanatically religious... (I remember an interview with one grown child of a 50's vintage atheist (one of those who launched the anti prayer in schools lawsuits) who was quite vocal that his parents ruined his life.)

Most parents fall well short of the parenting "ideal" (whatever it may be this year). That hardly makes us child abusers; it makes us human. One thing I am sure of is that my children will criticize my parenting, in turn, and will make their own mistakes if and when they raise children. Somehow, the species will survive.

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Grassaf, Eolas

I'm not terribly fond of the word "forcing" as used in this context. I have no problem with children being raised in a theistic or non-theistic manner, but I would hope that parents also attempt to learn about other faiths without those faiths being demeaned. Our three children were brought up Christian and, today, one is converting to Judaism (her husband is Catholic), one is leaning towards Buddhism, and the third remains Catholic. Fortunately, we all get along very well and attend services together at times. Even our grandchildren discuss this quite openly and without being judgemental.

Works for us.

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"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."-- Einstein

The key word is "forcing" of course... are we "forcing" children if we help them learn how to use a utensil? or be potty trained? or brush their teeth?

Parents do have an obligation I believe to educate their children and raise them to the highest standards they are capable of... so exposing children to religion is not an abusive thing... to neglect them however is abusive.

- Art

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"it benefits us to be thoughtful, not of the glory of our minds, but rather, above all else, of the glory of God."
- Johannes Kepler

I agree with Metis that we ought to expose our children to other religions/beliefs without being negative, or at least overtly negative. It's okay to teach them the failings you see in other beliefs (or even what you see as the benefits of your own religion). But, in my opinion it is not okay to intimidate, lie, or somehow trick a child to accept religious beliefs. I also think religion should be taught to children as a means to find spirituality, and not as an end in itself. They should be taught that there are other ways to find spiritual experiences (e.g., walks through natural settings, etc.) and that this they should experience too (like Jesus who often left urban settings to pray).

Of course, you can't hold an opinion on this subject without assuming your position on religion. So, in that sense our opinions tell us more about how we feel about religion than what is the morally right thing to do. Dawkins, for example, has a strong antagonist position on religion, so his opinions on religious training reflect that. I don't know if he has children, but who could doubt that he would naturally raise his children as atheists and teach them to look upon religion as foolishness? (There's a deeper philosophical problem with his views in that child abuse is a value that he must feel is determined by natural selection, and that suggests that people have less babies that survive to child producing age because their parents teach religion--a completely ridiculous position.)