Self-Forgiveness

[Lightkeeper]

I have heard some Christians say we don't have to forgive ourselves, because we are forgiven by Jesus. And yet, we are told to forgive others. Why would we forgive others and not ourselves?

How important do you think self-forgiveness is on our journeys?

[metis]

I think it's very important. Each of us will make mistakes, but that's very often part of the learning process. Hopefully, we pick ourselves up and move on. Carrying around a lot of guilt accomplishes nothing.

[sendy47]

Originally Posted by Lightkeeper

I have heard some Christians say we don't have to forgive ourselves, because we are forgiven by Jesus. And yet, we are told to forgive others. Why would we forgive others and not ourselves?

How important do you think self-forgiveness is on our journeys?

i dont think we need any forgivness....but for our up bringing in thinking it is of service..we have an attachement to behavior we have lived and through socialization we have been made to believe that one must be forgiven and we must forgive ourself...i think if who you are requires these behaviors then it is of need to do...if you have come past that in your being and can accept life is where it is and your fine with understanding it and dont have a need for the self talk of guilt that needs to forgive oneself..then no..not needed...and if your self talk is of guilt and feeling bad..then if the self talk of letting go forgiving is needed...then...guess what...it is a need...a need if you wish to move forward..if your place is to be stuck and continue learning in the state of being...again..not needed...ok..i will hush..you get my pic i am guessing...

[vivamis123]

I'm with Sendy....we only need to forgive (ourselves and others) if we'd believe something was "wrong". In a bigger picture one can see that there are no "mistakes".....only choices. By expereincing our choices we grow aware and have the opportunity then to make other choices.

[Astreja]

I don't think that we can forgive others without being able to forgive ourselves. Until we know what it feels like, we are not in a position to offer it to others.

[Chippingaway]

Am in agreement with the other posters on this.

Self forgiveness is needed when one lives with self reproach. Without self forgiveness one is locked into a state of being that denies any worthiness to expansive discovery. IMO this self forgiveness is necessary as long as one lives with attachments of any sort.

Yet it has to be considered, until one understands ALL of the nature of being, anything less then guilt, which springs from empathy, is callousness. So guilt born of empathy has it's place in the scheme of things.

This is the reason for making amends....an attempt to balance out the percieved harm, and again this depends on the degree of self reproach.
The results of some actions cannot be remedied, the results are unfixable and unredeamable, and this is the degree of guilt that presents the greatest obstical to self forgiveness.
i think the only answer to a percieved need for self redemption in this case is to recognise and accept the result is unredeamable and to honor it by living one's life as nobley as possible in honor of it, in other words, transcending the unredeamable quality.
There is an equasion....if you cause suffering and suffer from it, there are now two suffering people in the world. If you can end your suffering there is one less suffering in the world, and one more equipped to aid the other's suffering.

[Chippingaway]

Justthought of another factor in self forgiveness....

it takes practice. Some self repeoach has been lived with so long it's become a habit, and one must forgive again and yet again.

[angeleyes]

Originally Posted by Lightkeeper

I have heard some Christians say we don't have to forgive ourselves, because we are forgiven by Jesus. And yet, we are told to forgive others. Why would we forgive others and not ourselves?

How important do you think self-forgiveness is on our journeys?

I never really understood the concept of forgiveness while growing up, maybe because the idea of sin and forgiveness seemed to increase my sense of guilt rather than allay it. Alot of other spiritual paths seemed to ignore it altogether. Perhaps the most interesting and thorough explanations I've read about forgiveness comes from ACIM. Just to cite one sentence: "Forgiveness looks quietly, and judges not." The world's (ego's) idea of forgiveness is to judge first and then somehow try to be the better person by letting the other off the hook. ACIM resolves this by it's claim (as Vivamis has said in her post) that there is "nothing to forgive" because we haven't changed God or Heaven one iota by imagining that we could be seperate from our Creator.

In our "state" (our perceived reality as separate beings) however, forgiveness takes practice. And I agree that whatever you give to others, you give to yourself (and vice versa). If there's one thing I've learned in this life, it's that you only judge in others what you judge in yourself. So, yeah, self-forgiveness is necessary, at least until we realize we need not judge at all.

[shaw-n]

Love yourself.
Have compassion for yourself.
Know yourself.
When you do you will have an easier time loving others.
This endless guilt is just a nice way to beat one's self up which is not very loving.
If you make a mistake then accept it as a mistake and resolve to do better next time around.
We are all human and so will make mistakes.
If we cannot forgive others or ourselves for making mistakes then such a person is not very civilized.
(Honest mistakes that is) The repeat offenders are another story.

[mooomooo]

=============== The Christian said,, " Today l helped a blind man across the street . That was mt 'purpose' today "

The Atheist replied , "That was my purpose yesterday " .
-------------->

The Jewish person said , " Yesterday l found a dollar in the store and turned it in and that was my 'purpose ' yesterday " .

The Atheist replied , " That was my purpose two weeks ago , also"
--------------->

The Muslim said , " Today l gave a person a 'boost' to his car battery with my 'booster cables' as he was stuck in the street with a dead car battery " .

The Atheist replied , "That was my purpose one day last month " .
--------------->

Our 'purpose' in life is not as simple as it seems and does not have to maintain a life of success but more so allows a life of variety of unknown sources which we can 'tap into' any time we like . If you are not sure how to find your Path then you are searching or looking too deep for it when in reality it may be staring you 'straight in the face' in your daily realities .

Next time you see someone who is in need of help even simple help , this is your chance to do your purpose and when you have done this next purpose you will see what l am saying and how our purpose can be initiated by yourself just by allowing a simple caring action by us to occur .

So tomorrow when you wake up you say ,, "I wonder what my purpose today will be ? Will it be me allowing someone to walk across the street or will it be me lending a hand to an old lady or will it be me returning money l found ??? But whatever my purpose is today l am ready to fulfill it's needs " .

This will show your 'purity of intentions' before the situation has even occurred but after it has occurred and you have helped that person you can see , if you want to , the sequence of events which led you to that moment of your 'purpose being fulfilled ' without you choreographing it but with you being aware that your purpose for the day is about to happen and even though it hasn't happened yet that day God knows where your 'purity of intentions' lie for that day and that your purpose falls into the 'purity of intentions ' category .

So be us Atheist or Religious ,, it is our 'purpose' that God sees even before the actions of our purpose has been fulfilled .