I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife?

cardero · #1 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 06:54 AM

Since I am a minister that is ordained in an organization that is not easily recognizable, some of the people who ask me to marry them naturally have questions about the ceremony and my authority. I have gotten used to this and find this kind of questioning reasonable but there are some people (usually the parents of the bride and groom) who do not accept that this marriage will be official or acceptable in the eyes of GOD.

If the person (or people) who is authorized to perform a marriage is not of a certain religion, do you believe that the man and the women are married in the eyes of GOD? Why or why not?

Are there any unique benefits to the married man and women (in the eyes of GOD) if they are or are not married by a certain religion? Why or why not?

What would be the reason that GOD expects people to carry through with the ceremonial ritual of marriage in the first place? If any couple decided against a marriage ceremony (or were not allowed admittance into a certain religion's ceremonial house or practices) and just chose to be together and brought this announcement to the attention of GOD, wouldn’t that be the same as sealing the relationship before GOD?

shaw-n · #2 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 07:44 AM

People love a good show and pagentry.
IMO it makes no difference who marries a couple.
Really the deal is between the 2 parties in the marriage and if they want to create a marriage covenant between themselves then really it is between them and them alone.
But the custom, convention and tradition is otherwise.
People still trod the path even though it is a strange custom.
Whole industries are based around it as well.
Preachers, Justice of the peace, dress-makers, wedding planners, jewelers, caterers, etc.
But people love a good show and that is really all weddings are, plus a good excuse to throw a party.
In the eyes of God I think it makes no difference if some priest says some words or not.
It's not as if there is any magic being done by these clerics, or any blessings of real power, so besides the show, what's the point.
Moot.
Maybe it keeps some relatives happy.
Same goes for any advantage people might gain from having a particular ceremony.
Divorce rate stats show the facts.
What matters is love.
It has everything to do with it.
Tina Turner was dead wrong with her song.

Tonyamendola · #3 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 12:25 PM

Ok

So Gods sitting on his cloud and he watches us

Some of us our fortuante to have found his "preffered" Religion completely by luck and are smiled upon by God
Another couple grow up in another Country and are unlucky enough to be married under a Religion that is disliked by God

God gets out his book and makes a note "Eternal Hell and torture"

Imagine "trusting" a God like this ?
Imagine your very self relies on this ?
Imagine what you will face in your eternity!

Insanity

Marriage has nothing to do with bodys or men and women
Its about re joining Christ "thinking"

To see all as God sees all Now

His Perfect SON

vivamis123 · #4 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 01:06 PM

I don't believe that God sees any benefits in a ceremonial ritual of a marriage. Marriage to me is where two become one....as in heaven so on earth. That to me is a celebration in itself : )

Nick_A · #5 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 05:24 PM

IMO, the rapid descent into secularism and fantasy has encouraged forgetting the essential purpose of marriage which assumes a God/man relationship both individually and culturally.

Marriage theoretically is based on the idea that we can consciously change in our being, "evolve," to become closer to the source of existence. It begins with man's nothingness but with the potential to serve an objective purpose and experience the depth of "meaning."

The growth of our being requires a balance of energies comprising our collective being. Without this balance, any conscious growth is further out of balance and the results can easily become inwardly harmful. Marriage then is a statement recognizing the value of the balance between yin and yang or the male/female principles within ourselves. The man and woman as they blend in marriage help each other to attain balanced energies. This in turn makes them both more able to feel their connection with their source and also produce more balanced offspring. Non-corrupted religious marriage is a celebration of human potential while secular marriage is a celebration of what we are in the physical world without recognition of the importance of either balance or human potential in relation to the source.

These things are no longer valued by the majority so it probably makes more sense to restrict "marriage" to those that respect its purpose of enhancing our individual and societal connection with the source, and use the catch all term "secular union" to define modern weddings. This way if someone is asked if they are married they can truthfully reply that they are presently wedded in secular union and receiving its secular benefits.

shaw-n · #6 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 05:37 PM

The real point behind a "legal marriage" has to do with ownership of the offspring.
Do you know why all the letters of your name are in CAPITALS on your birth certificate?
Do you know why the birth certificate is so important after a new birth?
Did you know that these birth certificates are used to float bonds in a money making scheme?
Did you know that a Social Insurance # or your countries equivalent is really an employee # as you voluntarily joined a corporate entity which you falsely perceive to be a "country".
Why do you need the countries permission and legal blessing to get married anyway?
Are you not free within a democracy?
Then why this process?
There is a legal explanation.

**RevKathyV** · #7 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 06:34 PM

This is an article I wrote recently for a monthly newsletter I write for...

Question: Rev. Kathy, if marriage is not legal why should we bother having a ceremony? It doesn't mean anything.

Marriage is a commitment to another, pledging your love and loyalty. Life and relationships can be difficult. There are no perfect mates. In order for relationships
to grow stronger, people need to commit to working through difficulties and not simply walking away when a problem arises. Some people have a tendency to
walk away and even when married, they divorce. That isn't what love is about and not what commitment is. That doesn't mean if you are in an abusive relationship
you should never leave! People should not take a wedding lightly whether it is legal or not. Thinking about the commitment they are making is very important.
One of the greatest gifts you can give someone you love is to commit to being there for them in good times and bad, loving them when they are old and sagging,
and sticking it out through hard financial times. When you stand in front of friends and family and publicly announce this commitment and love, you are giving your partner and mate a wonderful gift and sign of love. It is very symbolic.
Marriage is a lifetime thing. It is not just something to do because of a romantic fling. It is looking at someone and realizing you both will change over time, you
both have imperfections and the sizzle may fizzle but you still want to be with that person for the rest of your life. It is growing together, learning from one another and at the same time putting up with each other's irritating qualities.
When people get married is not just to gain legal rights and tax breaks. Marriage in its true sense is a spiritual thing. It is a bonding of two people. It has nothing to
do with the government.
Marriage also gives people a sense of security. Going through the ritual of a marriage makes you think it over before you give up. It may make people try over and
over when things get rough to live up to vows they have made. Knowing that commitment is there can make both people more secure. It also gives the community
a message that this is a serious thing here and no one should intrude. It says you take your relationship seriously and would appreciate the same respect for your relationship from everyone in the community.
Before you make the decision to have a marriage ceremony think it over seriously. Do not do it half heartedly. Please do not dismiss the idea because it may not be legally recognized. I have been married to my wife for over 7 years and couldn't feel our marriage was anymore legitimate under any circumstances. My marriage
is as valid to me as anyone who has papers filed at the court house. Marriage is a legitimate contract between people and that should not be forgotten. It should be
treated with the utmost respect whether a license has been purchased or not. Part of the reason we are here is to love. That's what marriage is about....love.

wwwdlhow27 · #8 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 10:03 PM

Bravo!! Bravo! RevKV. As well and passionately stated as anyone could possibly know from whence she speaks.

If I might add (with permission): Love is the Only reason we are here.

sendy47 · #9 (**permalink**) 20th July 2008, 10:28 PM

Kathy when i was young i thought like this list...but as i aged and grew and left a marriage of 20 yrs..being with the man for 25...the above for me is but words...i mean no disrespect..it is but a time frame of spots in life..not it is wrong..i dont think so much there is wrong and right..but it was as the list above..all thought out..all 100 % in..and truth be i am still in though out..dont know if that is understood...in other words..you either love or dont..and i did and do...but it was a life time and it died...those vows held me stead fast in a marriage that i perhaps should have ended earlier..no way to know...it went as it did...anyway..i was making the bed one day..even though i am not a church goer..i had been praying constant for knowing for help..ability to understand..strenght to move on...or peace ...and as i was making that bed..thought i was in la la land with no thought..and out of the blue ..i am saying..i have been through better and worse...sickness / health..richer poorer etc..and it is dead..and had another said it to me it would not have been ok..i would not have seen it as a out but twisted words..but the way it showed up...i trusted it..and made it out...and continue on my journey with my beautiful girls and there husbands and my grand-kids...and what i feel it taught me was that adults need to be whole and mature and able to make responsible choices and not made to feel guilty or that they took anything lightly..and each realationship no matter its nature is yet another class in life..and passed the not walking out for tiffs that are normal to understand if there is abuse or one continued to grow and the other one did not it i feel is more then ok to move on...the only reason many do not is all the stigma that is attached..not so much any more..but it really was at one time almost sinful to be divorced...do you ask if you read your list above why...what happens if it is not that way...again..we have climbed out of that box we are in and it upsets peoples worlds...they become uncomfortable and some just that are uncomfortable with things different in this time and age..yet other will **** you to hell...i think all of what you say above is the norm the trying to express it is not a walk in the park..think about it etc...but those again i think are just nice words..it is where we are when we are there and we need the freedom to live and do the next step if and when..and trust that to will be ok...i am going to guess you can read the unread and know i understand the above and you will more then likely get what i a now typeing...i hope...life is good where ever we are...

...no one can make anyone else anything......

**RevKathyV** · #10 (**permalink**) 21st July 2008, 02:26 AM

Sendy
Thankyou for your curtious reply

.

I do not believe in sin or that people should be made to feel guilty for anything. I agree sometimes in a relationship both people are not putting their all and all into it and things can die. If it gets that unbearable then you need to do what you need to do to survive in a healthy way.

Part of my point is that all to often some people do give up too easily...but even if they do it is their choice and no guilt should be involved...just careful thought and then the best decision for everyone involved. My parents were married 20 some years and it was so bad that when I was younger I would pray they would get a divorce. They did when I was 17. Like I said there are circumstances where one or both people aren't mature enough (or weren't when the marriage took place) or what ever than there is no other choice..but I don't think those people (one or BOTH) of them thought it out carefully and realized the commitment they were making.

I am not implying that you are one of those that gave up too easily. I have a pretty good sense of the kind of person you are and I do not see you as one who gives of easily but knows when it is time to do something.

Marriage is a very beautiful contract between two people. It can last a lifetime..but both people need to want it and work at it and make it a priority.....

BUT every one has and should have the right and freedom to hit the road if it gets unbearable.....

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