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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 9th October 2008, 08:08 PM
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Some things are just too bizarre...

The following is from the website of "You've Been Left Behind," a service that for $40 will give those expecting to be raptured the chance to send messages to people left behind.

Quote:
We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel. The unsaved will be left behind on earth to go through the tribulation period after the Rapture. You remember how, for a short time, after 9/11/01 people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseball's seventh-inning stretch.) Imagine how taken aback they will be by the millions of missing Christians and the devastation at the Rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be saved for the Kingdom of God.

We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and one last plea to receive Christ. You will also be able to give them some help in living out their remaining time. Our system will allow you to send documents by email, to addresses you provide, six days after the Rapture. This occurs when three of our five team members scattered across the United States fail to log in over a three-day period. Another three days failsafe any false triggering of the system. In the encrypted portion of your account, you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorney (you won't be needing them anymore, and the gift will drive home the message of love"). There won't be any bodies, so a probate court will take seven years to clear your assets to your next of kin. Seven years, of course, all the time that will be left. So basically the Government of the Antichrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way. You can also send information based on Scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your plea to be remembered and a decision to be made. This is one last chance to bring the unsaved to Christ and snatch them from the flames!
Good grief!

"The Government of the Antichrist gets your stuff?" What's He gonna do with it, auction it on eBay? Or does He have a Minister in charge of physical property (which certainly seems surplus to requirements in Hell)?

I'm afraid that I can only have pity for those who believe this stuff. To suppose for yourself a god who dreams up these sorts of plans is way too far out in la-la-land for me. Is there any help for these poor, demented, tortured souls?
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Old 9th October 2008, 08:24 PM
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It sounds like a paradise for scammers.
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Old 9th October 2008, 10:29 PM
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Isn't there that saying "a fool is born every minute" for a reason?
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Old 10th October 2008, 01:28 AM
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Is there any help for these poor, demented, tortured souls?

Become friends with them so you get their "stuff".

Other than that, nothing short of brainwashing will do. But wait, they have already been brainwashed. Who else would accept that a 3 day old zombie originally died for their sins so that they could run amok and just pray to him for forgiveness via priests who think its ok to have hands on demonstrations in regards to Sodom and Gomorrah.
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Old 10th October 2008, 04:51 AM
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Welcome back Evangelical!

Are you hoping to receive some messages from those raptured?

- Art
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Old 10th October 2008, 05:25 AM
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I know someone who literally believes in the rapture. He acts like he is brainwashed. If you try to have a rational discussion with him he runs to his pastor and gets derationalized (my new word). If you ask him a question he starts quoting the Bible. It became a sadder story when he had children and he is forcing his beliefs on them. They aren't allowed to know anything about Santa Claus and they won't be able to read Tarzan books or anything like them. It seems everything is a threat to that belief system.

It's ironic to think that it's better to believe in the destruction of Armageddon and the rapture than it is to believe in a jolly old man who gives everyone gifts.
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Old 10th October 2008, 06:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightkeeper
I know someone who literally believes in the rapture. He acts like he is brainwashed. If you try to have a rational discussion with him he runs to his pastor and gets derationalized (my new word). If you ask him a question he starts quoting the Bible. It became a sadder story when he had children and he is forcing his beliefs on them. They aren't allowed to know anything about Santa Claus and they won't be able to read Tarzan books or anything like them. It seems everything is a threat to that belief system.

It's ironic to think that it's better to believe in the destruction of Armageddon and the rapture than it is to believe in a jolly old man who gives everyone gifts.
I find this very scary. I read a quote by Benjamin Franklin a long time ago, and can't remember the exact quote, but it amounts to believe should be combined with thought and rationale. Closed minds don't function...

I can't imagine closing my children off from society that way. Childhood is hard enough, then to make them different in such away...well, that is just wrong. His children must have a hard time indeed.
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Old 10th October 2008, 10:53 PM
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I would like those smiling raptured gas filled floaters to just send me their no longer needed titles to their yachts, 40 room mansions, beach houses in Boca Raton, Cayman Island Bank Accounts, and fleet of Beemers and Porsches.

Oops, I take that back. I forgot.

Most of those wealthy people will be too fat to be raptured.

Only poor people suckered by televangelists will be raptured.

Pat Robertson will be looking over the second level balcony of his Virginia Beach Mansion only to see thousands of empty swim suits scattered across the golden sands. Pat knows he will be left behind and alone except for those pesky millions of flies buzzing around him.

Amergin
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Old 10th October 2008, 11:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy Tall One
Is there any help for these poor, demented, tortured souls?

Psychotropic drugs, Electroconvulsive Therapy, hypoglycemic coma therapy, and hippocampal resection of their mesial temporal lobes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy Tall One
Become friends with them so you get their "stuff".

Other than that, nothing short of brainwashing will do. But wait, they have already been brainwashed.

Pray that the real God will guide some brilliant neuroscients and computer scients to invent a "rational chip" implanted in the left pre-frontal cortex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy Tall One
Who else would accept that a 3 day old zombie originally died for their sins so that they could run amok and just pray to him for forgiveness

They are people whose rational circuits have been atrophied by disuse while the brain runs on fantasy programmes. They cannot help it. Rational paradigms are not processed in meme damaged brains.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy Tall One
via priests who think its ok to have hands on demonstrations in regards to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Naughty girl

Air do dheagh shląinte!

Amergin
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Old 18th October 2008, 05:30 PM
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