A few days ago, I posted a thread regarding discovering the Quakers on the General Discussion board:

Who are we?

Today, I had the opportunity to attend a Quaker gathering for the very first time, and I would like to share my experience with all of you.

It has taken me a few hours to even begin to assimilate all that I experienced this morning with the Quakers (or "Friends", as they call themselves). It was a beautifully profound experience in a sacred space shared with others, an experience that combined so many spiritual voices from my past and present in the presence of the pure STILLNESS of the divine.

I was welcomed warmly by the woman coordinating this circle of friends. I don't know if they call these people "ministers", as the Friends minister to each other, each and every one of them. I was very early, so I helped her set up a circle of chairs for the gathering and laid out what appeared to be traditional hymnals. Then people began to arrive, people of all ages, apparently from various walks of life, just regular people like you and me. It was a smaller group than usual due to the holiday weekend, perhaps 20 people. Normally, they have about 30. This is not a large gathering, but that is part of the beauty of it.

For the first 15 minutes, we sang traditional hymns accappella from the Christian hymnal. The hymns seemed to be quite old and very gentle in nature. One was about Peace. Another was about the Holy Spirit. They had a "folksong" quality about them, like many traditional early hymns. I was told later that they also sing more modern songs too at times.

After the singing came the Silence. We sat in silence for 15 minutes, at which time children were excused to their own group downstairs (only one child was there due to the holiday). I realized that 15 minutes of stillness may be a bit of a challenge for my own active 11-year-old boy, but kids are allowed to read, as long as they are respectful of the silence. I'll cross that bridge next week, as he wasn't with me this week.

We sat in Stillness for 45 more minutes. For most of that time, there was total and complete Silence. I was told later that this group is particularly silent, as part of the Friends tradition is to speak at times in the Silence, what they call "ministering" to each other. When they speak, it is in calmness and serenity (or at least that was the case at this gathering).

There are no "rules" as to how to approach the inner Stillness in a Quaker meeting. It is simply a time to encounter yourself and the divine. You are not even told to quiet the mind. It seems the mind quiets itself over the hour. When I did say something, it was simply "We are Loved". And then I was quite surprised that a woman behind me picked right up where I had started and transformed that into a message perfect for me, something I really needed to hear today about knowing when to seek divine assistance. This brought me to tears, and something else very profound happened in that moment. I could feel the WE in divine. It was not just a singleness. It was a WE. It was an US, and also much more than that.

After the hour of Stillness, the meeting continued like most spiritual gatherings I have attended (only in reverse), with announcements regarding upcoming Friends retreats, etc. Then we went around the circle, and each person stated their name and anything else they wanted to say about themselves. The child came back and sang a Jewish spiritual folk song for us, accompanied by guitar and her teacher (next week, there will be more children, including my son). Then we all enjoyed refreshments and getting to know each other better. I was still partially in tears at times, whenever I tried to talk about what I had experienced. There was a radiance about some of these people, a peace that passeth understanding, in both the young and old.

I was surprised to hear how few and far between the Quaker groups are in my area. Could it be that NOBODY has ANY idea of what the Quakers are all about? Especially the "unprogrammed" traditional Quakers who practice in the Stillness? Apparently at many "unprogrammed" gatherings, there is no music, just Stillness, but I really appreciated the music.

One person told me that often those who discover the Quakers realize that they have been Quakers/"Friends" for a long time and simply didn't know it. Hmmm, I wonder....

As I drove home, I thought about bridges. In fact, I got lost and crossed multiple bridges on my way home, lol. I am a BridgeBuilder after all. And I realized that the Quakers/"Friends" are a beautiful bridge. What a profound way to bridge the gap between many so-called "New Age" traditions or Eastern philosophies and Christianity, for example. And I saw elements of many other traditions in the gathering too. And then what about the Quaker bridge to Peace on Earth? A respected way of walking a path of peace that has been with us for centuries.

After years of searching, I may FINALLY have found a "church" where I belong. Wow. The tears are still flowing. Eureka, I have found it, and it turns out it has been with us for a very long time.

Peace and Love from a Quaker-in-Training,
BridgeBuilder

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To build a bridge, it is not enough just to have an understanding of both sides of the river, although that is a challenge indeed. Only with the guidance of Love can one master the chasm in between.

Wow Bridgebuider....that is soo exciting. I am soo happy for you. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and please do keep us informed on your "training" : )

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May your awareness be perfection

Thank you, Bridgebuilder, for this very beautiful post. Please do continue to report your thoughts and feelings on the Quakers. I will stick this thread so it doesn't get lost.

I have always been interested in the Quakers and will seek out a group.

I've experienced something similar in the group I joined locally that is studying Eckhart Tolle works. The group is called Embracing Silence. We do spend time in silence and in small groups discussing certain subjects.

It is very powerful when several people come together with the same intention. Silence in a group speaks louder than words. I think the reasons for this is they are all closer to the Divine within and everyone is in unison.

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InterfaithForums.com-Where your ideas and beliefs count.

Hello Bridgebuilder.....

there has long been a quaker group in this area of Ill., almost from the time this area was settled. One of my grade schoolt teachers was a quaker and another one of my hospice patience years back. Both were memorable people.

With no fanfare and matter of fact my teacher went way above the call of duty doing things for his students behinde the scenes, out of his own pocket and never making it feel like charity to the reciever.

My hospice patent was a woman who lived a very eventful life. Once settled in an area which had no church she helped found a congrgational church for the members of that settlement. She founded a library in another small town, went white water rafting in her 70s, and was known for her heavy foot on the gas pedeal on country roads, residents were proud of her.

The quaker memorial service is not much different from the one you described, there is the silence, but because it was a memoral service part of the time was set aside in memory sharing of the lady, and for a eulogy full of affectionate humor.

The meeting house is quite large, frame, with very high cielings i think for air circulation because there is no air conditioning, and it's very plain. Plain large windows, plain pews, one side of the center aisle for women one for men. It's simplicity is very serene, very non distracting, and the whole thing feels of peace inside. Outside are ancient cottonwoods for shade. The meeting house is well over a hundred years old.
In a way it's like time has stood still for these small town/rural quackers in the keeping of thier traditions, tho not in thier interactions with modern life.

Just a vingette to share with you.

Thanks, Bridge Builder. Thanks for taking the time to describe your experience. It brought to my mind the desire I've had lately to life more simply, and the importance of stillness (which I'm still a novice at).

How wonderful to find a spiritual home!

I spent my highschool years in a private boarding school run by Quakers, and have thus had quite a few opportunities to visit the Quaker Meeting Houses north of Toronto.

Bridgebuilder's description of the meeting accords very well with my own memories. I have a great deal of respect for the Society of Friends and its members, as everyone that I have ever met has been a most accepting and loving individual. There is much tolerance in most Quakers.

As a gay man, I can tell you that this was important to me all those years ago. Although there is no central Quaker authority making pronouncements about policy, the British Quakers were among the first to be accepting of homosexual relationships. (This was also true in Canada because of our close relationship with the crown, but is less generally true of American Quakers).

In 1963, which was a time when homosexual acts were still illegal in Britain and Canada, British Quakers published a book called "Towards a Quaker View of Sex". It argued that sexual orientation was not the most important aspect of relationships, but rather that what really counted is the depth of feeling they have for each other.
Of all of the Christian religions, I am most comfortable with the Quakers.

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evangelicalhumanist: Greek "eu"=good and "angelos"=messenger. Spreading the good news of Humanism.

...I am glad to hear you had a positive experience, and hope you will find this path fruitful to you.

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Grassaf, Eolas

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support of my new-found spiritual path, yet another fork in the road for me, one of many on a very fascinating journey. I'll keep you posted on any interesting developments.

Peace and Love,
BridgeBuilder

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To build a bridge, it is not enough just to have an understanding of both sides of the river, although that is a challenge indeed. Only with the guidance of Love can one master the chasm in between.

Today I write from a state of disillusionment, that same disillusionment that has visited me time and time again EVERY time I get enthusiastic about a church experience of any kind and invest myself into it.

I have attended the Quaker meetings with utmost sincerity and enthusiasm the past few weeks, but the experience has evolved over that time, also influenced by different attendees at the meeting, including the leader returning.

At the first meeting, I had a profound experience where I said something very brief in the stillness and somebody else immediately followed up with something which very directly spoke to my heart. Recall that Quakers do speak occasionally during the stillness. It is not complete silence.

At the second meeting, I believe I spoke only once, but what I had to say just flowed from Spirit, as is the intent of Quaker meetings, while still being no more than a minute or two. What I said did transcend some traditions however, as I did group Jesus with "other great world teachers who have walked upon the earth". I suppose that may not have gone over well with everyone there, but on the other hand, there are many very open-minded attendees too. I said what I said from the heart.

At the third meeting today, I spoke twice. The first time was in follow-up to something someone else had to say about Stonehenge and the commonalities of Spirit among many cultures. I followed up with something regarding the Mayans and the fact that they spoke of the "children of light", which coincidentally is also what the Quakers called themselves in the 1600's. I suppose it may have been a little bit "fringe" (I even briefly mentioned 2012), but no more fringe than someone talking about Stonehenge.

Then the leader spoke of something that led me to add a comment, about how understanding the commonalities between different religions is the key to peace on earth.

When I speak, it just flows straight from Spirit. In fact, I have never experienced this vocally before attending a Quaker meeting (only in writing). I didn't know I was capable of it, as usually I stumble over my words. Some would call it channeling, which is really what it means to speak from Spirit, as the Quakers do.

Afterwards, people were not really being very friendly. It was more noticeable this time (I thought maybe I had noticed it last time), and I don't think it was my imagination, but perhaps it could be.

Then the leader and his "second in command" came up to me and told me that it is inappropriate to speak more than once at a Quaker meeting, and also that it is appropriate to wait after someone has spoken and not speak immediately. He said they did welcome me and my "enthusiasm", but this is the way Quaker meetings are. He also seemed to question if what I had to say was coming from me or from Spirit.

Well, whether this is traditional or not, I have no idea, but it is not something I have observed others at the meeting abiding by. It's not as if I spoke 4 or 5 times. I spoke only twice, yet with quite a bit of energy behind it (indeed "enthusiasm", although it was really Spirit), and perhaps saying some things in ways that are not at all traditional. I suppose they viewed it as ego, and indeed it is very easy to let ego get out of control in a Quaker church, something I was well aware of as a risk. It's a very real risk for the leader especially. But I felt led to say what I did, and if it reached just one person there, then I did the right thing. I even hesitated to speak, being a newcomer and all, but then I realized someone needed to hear it, so I did.

I was gracious and even self-effacing in response to what the leader told me afterwards. I did not argue, even essentially agreed. That's just me, avoiding confrontation as usual. Perhaps I should have asked "So you are saying that one is not to speak if feeling led by Spirit to do so?". "Or are you saying something is only from Spirit if you agree with it?" "Or is it just that you need the last word?". But I didn't. I'm too much of a "good little churchgirl" to speak back to a minister (even though there is no real "minister" at a Quaker church).

But as I left, I thought about George Fox and other Quakers I have been reading about, and I thought about being led by Spirit to speak. I thought about ego too. And I also realized I had observed existing members talking more than once, or some speaking just once at much greater length, and most certainly immediately following up on what another had said. Indeed, was that not precisely part of my profound experience the first time, when a woman well-established in the church so beautifully completed what I had to say?

Having studied ANE recently, I felt my pain body and ego emerging in response to this situation, and it still is to some degree. For me though, it's better to let it out than suppress it. Posting about it is also cathartic, and I can feel myself releasing the pain and ego even now.

It turns out I'm not a "modern day" Quaker after all. My spiritual journey continues. I may share many beliefs with the Quakers of old and even some today, but what I AM defies any label. One wonders if any of us can be labelled truly. And I'm not interested in "following a leader" or conforming to rules which are inconsistently applied, as is the case in so many churches. Or not allowing myself to be guided by Spirit in a place where that is supposed to be the norm. How very disappointing to find this in a Quaker church! (Yikes, pain body emerging again - ANE readers, you know what I mean!)

I have just about given up on searching for a church. I think that is just the dying remnant of the obedient Fundamentalist girl who once was. Whatever spiritual traditions and groups I will participate in are not likely to be found associated with any organized religion. That is now becoming abundantly clear to me. And do I really NEED a church? Or is that just something that I expect to need, or am I even still trying to please my evangelical parents (who were thrilled I was attending a Quaker church since it was better than some "fringe" New Age gathering).

Well, guess what? I'm "fringe". And proud of it! I seek Spirit where Spirit is to be found, in places which cross many boundaries. And it doesn't need to be at church or indeed at any gathering at all. Ultimately, Spirit is to be found in ME and YOU. It is also here in this place we all share.

Peace and Love,
BridgeBuilder

__________________
To build a bridge, it is not enough just to have an understanding of both sides of the river, although that is a challenge indeed. Only with the guidance of Love can one master the chasm in between.

Good to have you back Bridgebuilder! Thank you for sharing in detail your expereinces. I feel blessed to be a part of your life : ) It would be interesting for me to know what you got out of this whole expereince? If you don't mind sharing?

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May your awareness be perfection